#and that wont be until AFTER at least chapter 1 is finished

[rabbitclangen]

Prologue, part 1

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[divinesolas]

The Seatfiller (1/2)

Summary: You got the job as seat filler at the grammys and you just so happen to be sitting next to your favorite band, the dragons. Anything can happen.

Pairing: Modern!Singer!Aegon Targaryan x Fem!Reader

Warnings | none for this chapter, smut in the next part

w.c | 3.4k

part two

You two have been friends for years and luckily stayed in touch despite going to different colleges and working different jobs thanks to you too living in the same area. You can hear her getting into her car, “Do you have a dress yet?” you shake your head, “I have a couple in my closet-” It was the truth, they had all been dressed you've worn before sure but you liked each of them. “No! We need to go out and go get you a nice dress so you can look nice and hot and they'll fall in love with you.” You scoff and shake your head not that she could see.You were delusional but not that delusional, “I shouldn't-” “I'm on my way so you better be dressed.” You groan, she always ends up getting what she wants so you reluctantly agree. “Fine.” “Yesssss, we're gonna get you a dress that will have that one guy on his knees for you, trust me.”

She’s not a fan like you are but knows of your obsession with them so ‘that one guy’ she happens to be referring to is Aegon targaryen.The hot lead singer who also happens to write and compose a lot of their music. He’s mesmerizing from his attractive face to his enticing voice to his charming personality. He had it all and you had a huge crush on him. Or at least in the way a fan can like a celebrity. What if you were sitting next to him? What if he smiled at you? Would he be able to tell you're a fan and have been obsessively keeping up with him and his band for years? It would be humiliating but you would only be there for forty-five minutes. Or at least you hope so.

“Don't be ridiculous.” You can hear her driving as you move to change out of your pajamas, “There is no ridiculousness in it! He will be sitting near you and there you’ll be sitting looking hot as fuck and he’ll have no choice but to fuc-” “Enough!!” You could feel yourself getting red as you shook your head as if she could see you. You hear her laugh as you finish putting on your clothes. “I'm right though!” you sigh, “No youre not.”

You wait around for her to come then you rush down to meet her. She gets out of the car to hug you before you both get back in and she drives you to the mall. Once you arrive she grabs your hand and drags you over to one of the more expensive stores, “I can't afford this-” “I'm paying.” you scoff at her and try to rip your hand away from her, “No way.”

She turns to you and gives you a glare. “This is your big night! Consider it an early birthday gift.” You attempt to argue with her some more but she still does not listen as she drags you around the store. “Now lets look, hmm no this color wont look good on you. Ugh no this is too long.” When you finally accept her ‘gift’ you begin to look around with her, attempting to pick out the cheaper options before she quickly shuts you down, “You would never wear that in your life stop looking at the tags.”

You swear you've been in this store forever trying to find a dress but can't find anything until you look near the back and see it. You pull it out and rush to show it to your best friend whos eyes widen upon seeing the dress. “That's the one.” You try it on and you walk out to show her. She squeals as you spin around, “It's perfect! If nobody wants to fuck you in there ill do it myself!” you laugh and face the mirror. The dress makes you feel hot, you admire yourself and you smile.

“See? I'm a genius, we're getting it.” After attempting to pay and having your card slapped out of your hand you two manage to leave the store. You turn to her and give her a hug, “thank you.” “Of course.” you two laugh and pull back, “Now let's go get dinner and you pay.” “Bitch.” you two laugh as you walk away from the dress store.

On the day of the event you couldn't shake your nerves as you put the finishing touches on your outfit and makeup as your friend tries to boost your confidence. “Come on, you look so good, look at you.” You sigh and nod as you stand up and look at yourself in the mirror. You really did look good and there was no point getting worked up you would be in there for forty five minutes in and out then you could go and freak the fuck out afterwards about how you sat next to your favorite band.

“Are you gonna ask for an autograph?” “They said I can't do that in my contract. I just need to sit there and look nice until I'm supposed to leave.” she groans and rolls her eyes, “Boring.”

You check your phone and see your uber is almost here, “I gotta go.” She stands up and hugs you, “Love you girl, text me when you get there k? And try to get laid.” You laugh and flip her off as you walk out your front door.

The door shuts behind you and you sigh trying to relax, the night will go just fine. You hope.

The room filled with cheers as another award winner was called, the camera panned to the dragons who had smiles on their faces before shifting back to the stage. Once the camera was away Aegon covered his mouth to yawn. “Aegon…” Aemond, his brother and drummer of the dragons, was sitting next to him glaring at him, “What? I'm tired.” Aemond rolled his eyes and Aegon giggled to himself. He hated these award shows, all he wanted to do was get back to his studio, drink some beer and write up a new song but instead he was stuck here watching these stuck up people win awards he didn't care about.

The long and boring speech was finally over and they cut the cameras. Aegon let out a sigh of relief, the person next to him got up and was rushed backstage. Aegon couldn't remember their name but they were supposed to present at some point during the night. One of the staff of the event came over to the group, “A seat filler will come over to take his place now, please do not be alarmed.”

Jacaerys, The Bass player and childhood friend of aegon and aemond, gave the staff member a smile, “It's no problem.” The staff member nodded briefly before walking away, seemingly going to fetch someone. Aegon wasn't really paying attention until he spotted he felt a soft brush of someone as they sat down next to him and a soft apology.

9:00: He looked over and saw the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen. Now that he has his eyes on you he cant take him off.

The dress you wear suits you beautifully, his eyes linger on your chest area before trailing down to the rest of your body. God you were gorgeous, suddenly aegon became way more interested in the event.

The woman turns his head to him feeling his stare and gives him an awkward smile before turning back forward.

He sat up straight and readjusts the cuffs of his suit causing aemond to give him an odd look. “What the hell are you doing?” Aegon rolls his eyes, “What can't I sit up?” Aemond eyes the girl now sitting beside Aegon and scoffs. “Oh shut up.”

This can't be happening. Your body burns and you feel like your face is on fire. He was staring at you. the aegon targaryen. Lead singer and producer of the dragons. He even checked you out.

You thank your best friend in your head for buying you this dress as you feel Aegon's eyes continue to drift back to you.

Do you look back at him? You play with your fingers and look down at your hands as they call that the show is about to start again and you look back up.

You can't help but take a glance at him and notice he's already looking at you. You quickly look away again. You hear aemond hit his arm to get him to look forward, aegon grumbles as he does but his gaze on you.

You notice you're shaking, it really is so crazy to be sitting next to the band you've been admiring for the past couple years of your life.

Another commercial break starts and you're wondering how long it's been and how much more time you have yet. You're really wishing you had your phone right now. Not only to check the time but because you're sure your best friend is blowing up your phone right now.

You look back at Aegon and notice he's on his phone. What if you asked him… it would be a good excuse to just speak to him at least once plus your friend couldn't yell at you for not doing anything despite sitting next to your all time favorite band.

Aegon had been on his phone, texting the dragons gc.

‘do not do anything stupid.’ - aemond

‘but the girl is so hot ☹️’ - aegon

‘aegon. don't you dare.’ - jace

‘i just want to know her name ☹️☹️’- aegon

‘I know good and well that's not true.’ - helaena

“Excuse me…” The voice next to him rang out. All of them whipped their heads towards her, Aegon being the closest that looked her directly in the eyes. He notices she bites her lip slightly and avoids eye contact, god he didn't know how much more of this he could take. “Can i know what time it is?”

Aegon looked down at his phone before looking back at you, “It's 9:15 gorgeous.” He feels aemond hit his arm but its all worth it to see you flush and turn, “thank you.” its hushed but he can still hear it. “of course gorgeous.”

He notices your shaking and playing with your dress. There were hundreds of stars in the room but you were the only one he could see. “You have a gorgeous name?” “aegon..” aemond harshly hisses at him.

you look at him shocked, your beautiful eyes wide open and your eyelids flutter. You were so pretty. “um…. its y/n.” He smiles, “a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” You look away bashfully as he grins, “no..” “Really, I'm serious, you're the most gorgeous woman in the room.”

There's an announcement saying the cameras were about to turn back on and he groans. He just wants to keep on talking with you. He sits up and he feels aemond put a hand on his arm, “what do you think you're doing?” aegon shrugs, “what? im just talking to her there's nothing wrong with that?” He looks over at her and winks as aemond slaps his shoulder.

“You will quit it now.” Aegon groans, “You just had the situation with cassandra-” “she was the one bothering me,” Aegon hisses, “i never wanted her.” Aemond sighs, “The media doesn't know that-” “I don't care. they don't believe me anyways.”

Cassandra baratheon, one of the four daughters of a famous director and a top model and she was one of the most annoying people he's ever met.

When they met at some random award show afterparty where she came up to him claiming to be a fan of his group. The two talked, she tried to come home with him, he didn't want that, he told her that, she got pissed because her nepo baby ass never got told no and told the media the two slept together.

For the past week hes been dealing with people up his ass about cassandra but he's denied everything and it fucking sucks.

“Aegon-” “Please dont bring her up again.” The worst part of it all is that shes been showing up to his fucking house begging him to believe her that she would never say something like that to the media and asking if she would let him inside. “Fuck off cassandra.” “baby-” “dont fucking baby me i dont even fucking know you.” “youre an asshole!” “you say this every fucking time but you keep on coming back just leave me the fuck alone!”

Aegon shakes of the memory now frowning, god e could really use a fucking drink. Once again it was a commercial break at 9:22. Aegon Rolled his head back and looked back at you.

You sat with a stunned expression on your face as your eyes layed on him, fuck you must have heard all that. You notice him looking at you and you look away. Ugh now the pretty girl doesn't even wanna fucking look at him this sucks.

“I'm sorry.” a hushed whisper comes from you, one that only he can hear “I had seen it on the news, that must suck for you. I'm sorry, I believe you.” Aegon's eyes widen as looks at you, you haven't lifted your head. Nobody other than his bandmates had told him they believed him.

He smiled, he leaned down near your ear, “thank you sweetheart. You're as sweet as you look.” You turn your head farther away from him, he can practically feel the heat radiating off of your body as he watches your hands shake.

He smiles as you turn back to him, “I'm sorry for butting in-'' he shakes his head, “there's nothing to apologize for angel, it makes me feel nice knowing a pretty girl like you believes me.” He can partially feel aemonds annoyance but he can't be bothered as he takes in your reaction. 9:29 the show turns back and now he has a smile on his face as he faces the stage.

This can't be happening. Your face feels so hot and your body burns, this can't be happening. Is he hitting on you?

You can barely sit still in your seat as the award show continues. Maybe you should be brave, I mean you'll never see the man again in about 15 minutes so it doesn't matter what happens, right?

You readjust yourself and turn your head towards him and see him already looking at you. you lose any sense of confidence you had and look back down at your lap. Nope can't do it.

He smiles, “you wanna say something to me angel?” You shake your head, god this was so embarrassing. You stare up at the stage, the performance on the stage captures your attention that you don't notice the hushed whispers between aemond and aegon. 9:41 your final intermission.

A staff member walks over, “Please gather up your things, I'll be coming back around to collect you in a few minutes.” You nod as they rush away.

Upset that the night is ending you frown, already thinking about what take out you're going to get once you get home. You take a glance at Aegon to see he has a frantic look. Before you can even question it in your head he turns to you, “do you mind giving me your number angel?”

You almost faint, you're shocked you didn't, no way he was being serious. You stare at the phone he's handed in your direction frozen. Now your favorite member of your favorite band is asking you for your number. This must be a dream.

Snapping back you snatch the phone and shakingly put the number in, double no triple checking if it was right before handing it back to him. He smiles with a laugh as the staff member comes back and rushes you out, “I'll see you later angel.” Later?

You are rushed out along with other seat fillers for the night and taken outside to wait for transportation home as well as your bag. Everyone was chatting but you can barely even think right now. Your bag gets handed back to you and you can feel your phone vibrating.

You take it out and see over a hundred texts from your friend and 2 texts from an unknown number. Your hands are shaking, What the hell was happening. Avoiding what was probably his messages to you, you open up your friends messages to you.

A lot of them were just nonsense.

‘MISS YOU’

‘ONG YOU'RE ON CAMERA

*pic

‘&-)/&:)/$/$:’

‘WHY IS HE TALKING TO YOU OOOOOOOOOO’

‘YOU GOTTA TELL ME EVERYTHING’

*pic

The two photos are one of you when your face showed when the camera panned to someone in front of you and the next is a shot of you and Aegon looking at each other. Oh no.

‘NOT YOU LEAVING ME ON READ’

‘ANSWER NOW’

‘TELL ME’

She starts calling you and you move far away from everyone else to answer her.

“hey-”

“OH MY GOD.”

you move the phone away and wince before pulling it back, “you're so loud.”

“Oh shut up, tell me what happened.”

You smile to yourself as you think over the last forty five minutes of your life and tell her everything. “shut up!” “i know!”

“Have you looked at his messages?” You shook your head as if she could see you, “no-” “WHAT. look at them now are you kidding.”

“I'm scared.” “stop being a pussy and look.” you sigh and open the message with shaky fingers. He had sent a couple more since you last checked and by a couple more you mean a lot more.

‘hey its aegon’

‘shit’

‘the guy who was sitting next to you’

‘sorry never told you my name’

‘oh wait you said you knew me’

‘ANYWAY’

‘you know i never got your name angel’

‘or would you rather me keep calling you angel’

‘that was corny im sorry’

‘god’

‘um’

‘i'd love to see you again, the hotel im staying at has a bar if you'd meet me there’

‘no pressure i just cant get you out of my head’

‘sorry i have to go, i hope to see you there :)’

The last message was an address line to a really nice hotel only a block or two away. “Holy shit.”

you can only stare as your friend yells in your ear, “what?!? what happened??” You take a screenshot and send it to her. “No fucking way you have to go.”

You are looking at the hotel's website, “I don't know… what if he's like a secret psycho murder or a human trafficker.” Like sure you did admit him and obsess over him a little but that didn't mean you trusted him. He's a celebrity for crying out loud he could be the worst man on earth.

“I have your location. If you dont text me or anything, I'll call the police .” You genuinely consider your opinions right now. You could go home, get take out and sit and talk with your friend all night about nonsense when all you could think about is the what ifs or you could go and see what could happen.

“Oh fuck it ill go.” “YES.” There's no point in getting an uber so you begin the walk to the hotel.

You stay on the phone with her as you make your way there, still looking at the hotel's website. The place was super fancy, makes sense for a celebrity, people were giving you odd looks since you're just casually walking around in a fancy dress but you can't even be bothered.

“Did you shave?” “Fuck off nothings happening.” “surrre i believe you.”

You finally arrive at the place and stare at the big door, oh fuck it its not like anything is gonna happen right.

[ollieofthebeholder]

And If Thou Wilt, Forget: a TMA fanfic

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] || Also on AO3 and my personal website

Chapter 7: For this they wait, one waits in pain

There was some sort of confusion regarding the insurance that took a while to sort out, and the only doctor in the hospital qualified to perform brain surgery already had an operation scheduled for that morning and couldn’t arrive any earlier than he was already set to, which resulted in considerable debate over whether it would be better to move Gerard to another hospital or keep him there until the neurosurgeon was available, on which neither Gerard nor Gertrude was consulted. Evidently, however, the other hospitals in the area were also fully booked, and the decision was made that there was no point in transporting him somewhere else if he would have to wait the same length of time. It took Gertrude a great deal of effort to swallow down her impatience over the delay—she had work to do, after all, and this was seriously impeding her progress, to the point that she almost would have wondered if Gerard’s seeming illness was something caused by the Stranger trying to slow her down had the MRI not come back with positive results. In truth, she still wasn’t entirely sure it wasn’t.

Gerard, for his part, seemed relieved it wasn’t happening right away. He slept fitfully through the night—she was permitted to stay with him because they’d bought her claim that she was his mother—and she wasn’t sure if the constant waking and jerking about was due to pain or fear or something more insidious. Looking into his head would be a frivolous use of a dread power, so she restrained herself.

It was difficult, though, especially having to answer the same question every single time he surfaced from unconsciousness, which was proving to be at least once an hour. At least it wasn’t an example of memory loss.

She glanced at her cell phone just as it lit up with a notification—an incoming text message, unsurprisingly from Tim. Swiftly, knowing he was likely to call her if she didn’t and not wanting to disturb Gerard’s current state of rest, she sent him the exact building and current location, then slid the phone back into her pocket. Chicago traffic was less a condition and more a war in progress, but even with all that in mind, he would arrive within the hour, and hopefully would be in time. She didn’t need to wait for a response from him.

Which was a good thing, as she realized with mild surprise nearly twenty minutes later that she had never actually received one.

As the thought crossed her mind, Gerard stirred and woke once more, and once again spoke in a raspy, sleep-strangled voice. “What time is it?”

“Ninety-two minutes later than the last time you asked, Gerard,” Gertrude replied, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “It’s ten thirty-seven A.M.”

Gerard blinked at her, then sank back against the bed, blinking. So softly she almost didn’t hear him—a sure sign he wasn’t talking to her—he murmured, “Still morning.”

Gertrude glanced up at the ceiling. Technically, Gerard hadn’t been moved into a room yet; he was in a bed partitioned off from the larger part of the emergency room waiting to be prepped for surgery, and there were no windows back here. Understandable that he might have lost track of time, but a bit odd that he was so desperate to keep track.

“I think if your condition was at the risk of being immediately fatal, they would have rescheduled the morning’s patient,” she said as neutrally as she could.

Gerard rolled his head to look at her. Before he could answer, though—assuming he was planning to—the nurse who had been checking on him for most of the evening slipped around the curtain, a light jacket thrown over her scrubs and her purse dangling from her shoulder. Ignoring Gertrude, as she was wont to do, she spoke directly to Gerard. “Hey, sweetie, I’m about to head home, but I wanted to let you know that I just heard from my boss that they’re finishing up the surgery ahead of you. It shouldn’t be too much longer now.”

“Oh. Okay,” Gerard said quietly. “Thank you.”

“No problem. You just relax. Everything’s going to be fine.” The nurse smiled. “I’ll try to pop in and make sure you’re doing okay when I come back tonight, depending on where you are.” With that, she turned and left.

Gertrude snorted. “I’m so thankful my cloak of invisibility is working properly.”

“You said yourself you weren’t on my paperwork.” Gerard twisted the sheet in his hands, just slightly. “And I’m awake. They don’t need to tell you anything.”

His eyes flicked up to the equipment beside his bed, scanning the screen. Gertrude studied it herself. She was no medical expert, but…

…but the Ceaseless Watcher gleefully rushed in to fill in the details about heart rate, pulse, oxygen level, and temperature. She knew the exact percentages of the components in his intravenous drip and exactly what would be of concern to his doctor and what would be dismissed as unimportant. In truth, the majority of it was of no more than secondary concern.

“Is there something worrying you?” she asked. This time she couldn’t stop the slight impatience creeping into her tone.

“No,” Gerard replied, with the immediacy and flicker in his eyes that made a lie of that even if she hadn’t had supernatural assistance.

“Gerard.” Gertrude could feel the tingle of the Beholding on her tongue, and it made her all the more perturbed. Gerard’s childish worries were worth neither the expenditure of energy nor the courtesy of gentleness.

“Okay, no, I just…” Gerard swallowed hard. He seemed to have some trouble with the motion. “Have you…heard from Tim?”

Oh. Of course. Gertrude had even thought, after contacting Tim about Gerard’s medical emergency, that he would be upset and stressed if Tim didn’t arrive before he went into surgery. She just somehow hadn’t expected him to actually start worrying until they told him they were actually ready for him, rather than just a vague it shouldn’t be too much longer now. Especially since she’d only vaguely told him that Tim would be arriving…

In the morning. Hence why Gerard had asked, every time he awoke, what time it was. He was trying to ask, as subtly as he could, if Tim would be arriving soon.

She pressed her lips together tightly for a moment so her irritation at herself wouldn’t bleed out into what she was saying. “His plane landed…” She glanced at her phone. Still no reply from Tim since she had sent him their information. “Thirty-two minutes ago. He’s on his way now.”

Gerard exhaled heavily, then coughed hard for several moments. Once he could draw breath again, he leaned back against the headboard with a groan. “I’d kill for a cigarette right now.”

“I doubt they’ll allow it,” Gertrude said dryly. She, too, was itching for a nicotine fix, but at least she wasn’t going in for surgery. As soon as Tim arrived, she would be able to step outside for a smoke. Possibly to leave as well, but most likely she would wait.

“Thanks for staying,” Gerard said softly. “Dunno if I said that yet.”

“You didn’t. But you’re welcome.” Gertrude didn’t bother pointing out how much work she had to do or how much of a sacrifice it was for her to remain. Gerard knew all that. He also knew that she wouldn’t have made that sacrifice for just anyone.

She hoped he knew that it meant that she did care for him, in her own way.

In fact, Tim arrived exactly nine minutes later, rushing through the curtain just as the baby-faced day nurse, his scrubs still so new that they crackled with dye, was disconnecting all the equipment Gerard was hooked into. The relief on Gerard’s face was palpable. “Took you long enough.”

“Yeah, sorry, the teleportation circle was out of service.” Tim looked at the nurse, whose eyes were huge, and then at the white-coated doctor just behind him. “Did I miss it?”

“We’re just getting ready to take him back, Mr. Keay,” the doctor said. Tim didn’t correct him. “You can follow us as far as the door, but then you’ll have to wait outside.”

Gertrude assumed she was included in that; if she wasn’t, nobody stopped her. She trailed after Tim, who kept pace with Gerard the entire way. At last they reached a T-intersection with a sign on the wall. An arrow pointing left read SURGERY; one pointing right read WAITING AREA. Obviously, this was where they would part.

Gerard, who had been silent and almost drowsy—he must have been tired, since he had barely slept in the last twenty-four hours—suddenly reached out and touched Tim’s hand. “Winter.”

Tim frowned. “What?”

“It’s—I’ve been thinking about it. Winter. The first movement, the allegro, but all of it really.”

Gertrude didn’t understand, nor did she understand the grin that split Tim’s face even as the sudden fear flared in his eyes, but she kept her mouth shut as he said, “I’ll give it a listen, then.” He squeezed Gerard’s fingers lightly, then bent over and kissed his forehead. “Play nice. I’ll see you when you’re done.”

“Yeah.” Gerard managed a shaky, tentative smile in reply, then fell back against the gurney. The nurse wheeled him towards the door to the surgery. Tim watched silently for a long moment, then turned and headed for the waiting room.

Gertrude started to follow, then stopped. She really needed a cigarette; it had been a long night and a long day before, and she was itching for the nicotine fix. Tim was there and waiting. She could step outside for a few minutes and probably be back before the anesthesia had even taken effect.

Or…theoretically, she could leave. After all, Tim had arrived, which meant Gerard was no longer alone. They both had her number. She could, in theory, take her bag and go on to Pittsburgh as she’d planned. She could continue on her journey, while they…

While they what?

She pushed the thought out of her head, or at least to the back of her mind, long enough to focus on memorizing the route out of the hospital.

It took her longer than she had expected to find somewhere to light up; unsurprisingly, there were regulations against smoking within a certain distance of the hospital, but it hadn’t occurred to her that the sheer glut of medical centers in the area would mean she would need to walk several blocks before she was free of the judgmental red circles with crosses. Finally, she stopped on a street corner, tapped a slender cigarette out of her pack, and flicked her lighter. The crackle as the leaves caught, and a moment later, the soothing scents of tobacco and menthol curling into her nostrils, calmed the itch and put a balm her fraying nerves.

There were probably better ways to do that, but hell, at this point, if the cigarettes hadn’t killed her yet they weren’t likely to. Then, too—she smiled grimly to herself as she drew on the cigarette—there were enough things that wanted her dead that would be furious if something as innocuous as emphysema was her undoing in the end that it was almost worth the attempt. Anyway, smoking hadn’t caused Gerard’s illness.

She leaned against the signpost on the corner, blew out a puff of smoke, and watched it spiral up to join the clouds overhead. Now that she had time, she tried to put her thoughts in order.

Facts. Logic. Look at the situation without emotion, without sentiment. It was something she was ordinarily quite good at, but for some reason, she was having trouble this time. She was getting soft in her old age, that’s what it was.

Logic reminded her that if she was truly viewing this situation from an unemotional standpoint, she wouldn’t have bothered to contact Tim. The sensible thing to do would have been to get Gerard his treatment, get out the door, and get moving. She had, after all, left the Archives virtually unguarded, and there was no way to alert Leitner that she had done so. Since he knew about Tim, he would be down in the tunnels—which she also hadn’t mentioned to Gerard or Tim—and assuming everything was fine. Tim should be there, not here. Logically.

Except…Gertrude had to stop herself from grinding the end of the cigarette into pulp. Except Gerard needed him, whether he would admit it or not. Except that she would lose Tim’s respect, to say nothing of his trust, if she kept something like this from him. Except there was no way she would have the patience to wait for Gerard to recover enough from brain surgery that he could leave the hospital, never mind travel. She Knew that it would be several days before he was well enough to leave the hospital and that it would be six weeks before he could safely fly—the minimum suggestion was seven to ten days, but hospitals tended to suggest the full six weeks, and she didn’t want to risk pushing him too far, not when she’d gone to all this effort to help him.

Damn and blast.

So. As she saw it, she had two choices. She could leave Tim and Gerard behind in Chicago while she continued her search, then contact them to catch up with her whenever it was safe to do so and hope like hell Elias didn’t get into the Archives in her absence…or she could leave Tim and Gerard behind in Chicago, fly back to London herself, and leave them to continue the search.

Neither of those options were particularly palatable, but one was definitely easier to stomach than the other. And the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. After all, wasn’t that what she had assistants for? She’d taken Tim into her confidence, at least as much as she took anyone else in. He knew as much as she had at his age—maybe more. And Gerard was Eric’s boy, so he was sensible…but he was also Mary’s son, and he wasn’t defenseless. They would be all right.

And it would keep them out from underfoot for a bit. She could call them home when—if—things got bad.

Gertrude finished her cigarette, flicked it into a nearby ashcan, and headed back to the hospital. Since she still wore the visitor’s pass they had printed out for her that morning, it was no trouble at all to get past the desk and back to the waiting room.

It seemed odd to have so many people there on a Tuesday afternoon, but then again, medical emergencies didn’t precisely wait until after normal business hours. Gertrude paused in the doorway and scanned the room. Partly she was scanning for potential statements—not that she expected much, but the fear of the survivor, the unharmed, was often sweeter than the fear of the actual physical victim—but mostly she was looking for Tim. It didn’t take long, even in the crowd. He had claimed a spot in the corner, directly under the television, which seemed to be playing some sort of home improvement show, and sat with his head bowed, staring at his hands, which were laced together between his knees. She edged her way across the room to join him.

The moment she sat down, he stirred. He leaned further forward, reached into his bag, and withdrew a folder, which he handed to her without making eye contact. “Brought your lunch.”

Gertrude, who had been in the act of taking the folder, blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“The statements. You get energy from them, right?” Tim shrugged, still not looking at her. “I’ve seen you. You start getting tired in the afternoons, you grab a statement and a cup of tea and head into your office. You always look a lot perkier when you come out, and it’s sure as hell not the tea. I know you didn’t bring any with you, but I kind of got the impression you were picking statements up as you went. But if you’ve been here with Gerry since last night, I reckoned you might be running low.”

Slowly, Gertrude pulled the folder into her lap and opened it. Three separate statements, if the plastic clips holding them together were any indication, sat in its covers, the top one yellow and fragile with age. She hadn’t thought she was that obvious.

“Thank you,” she said. Convention dictated a reciprocation of some kind, she felt, so she asked, “How are you holding up?”

Tim was silent for several moments, staring at his hands. Finally, he asked in a low voice, “Is he going to be okay?”

Guilt stabbed at Gertrude’s stomach for a moment. “I can’t Know the future, Tim.”

“I’m not asking the Archivist.” Tim looked up at her for the first time since he had arrived. “I’m asking you.”

Gertrude took in the pinkness of Tim’s eyes, the hollows in his cheeks, the tight lacing of his fingers. He was too open, too vulnerable, and she was too tired and drained to stop the Ceaseless Watcher from letting her Know—about the way his throat had closed up momentarily when she had told him Gerard was ill, about the way he’d sat upright and rigid and willed the plane to go faster, damn it, faster, about the way he’d nearly broken down when the receptionist couldn’t find Gerard’s name at first, thinking he was too late. About how much he had already lost in his life, and what he feared would happen to him if he lost any more.

“He will be fine,” she said, with all the certainty she could muster. “He’s young, and healthy apart from this…well, and the smoking. We caught it before it was too far gone to correct.” She patted Tim’s arm in a perfunctory, awkward fashion. “And you’re here.”

Tim managed a smile. “I’m not exactly a trained doctor.”

“No, but now Gerard knows you’re waiting for him. He was…quite anxious that you weren’t here. Hopefully now he’ll be able to relax, and let the treatment actually work.” Gertrude fished her reading glasses out of her pocket and perched them on the end of her nose. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to read this statement.”

“Go ahead.” Tim pulled out a set of earbuds and popped them into his ears, then plugged them into his phone. A moment later he had called up one of those video sites and was scrolling for something.

Gertrude turned her attention to the statement and began to read it aloud. She kept her voice low, and nobody seemed to notice—especially as doctors periodically came out and called for one person or another. Tim seemed fully absorbed in whatever he was watching on his phone, so she allowed herself to sink into the statement. It was old, but nasty, and while she wasn’t particularly interested in the Flesh she could at least see why Tim had brought it to her. It had taken place some way to the west of where they currently were, but nevertheless it was American. She could almost feel the very ground beneath her rising up to meet the statement, the blood and fear that had soaked into the soil of the place singing out to welcome its errant brethren home.

Which was unusually fanciful for her, and patently ridiculous. But she felt it nonetheless.

A few answers filtered in as she lowered the last page to her lap. Sarah Carlisle had not died, not then; she had been found half-frozen by a nearby Cheyenne tribe and taken in. One of the members of the tribe, though his title in their tongue had been different, had been an Archivist, and though Sarah had believed the Cheyenne could not understand her, the Eye had granted him the ability to interpret her words—my husband’s corpse begged me to eat it—and he had led an expedition to the cave, where he had encountered the Avatar of the Flesh that dwelt there.

As much as she wished the Ceaseless Watcher would leave her be, she would admit to a grim satisfaction at the knowledge that that long-deceased Archivist’s tactics had not been so very different to her own. At least she was following in a grand tradition of sorts.

Tim had been right, although she wished he wasn’t. She felt much better after that. She turned to study him just as he sighed, removed his earbuds, and pocketed his phone. “That’s him, all right,” he mumbled.

“The Winter allegro?” Gertrude asked.

Tim started. “Hey. Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t. I was finished. Were you listening to the allegro from Winter?”

“Well, the whole thing really, but yeah, that’s what I was listening to.”

“I must admit, it doesn’t seem like it would be something Gerard would listen to,” Gertrude said, tucking the statement in the back of the folder and closing it. “Unless it’s also the name of a heavy metal album. Why did he ask you to listen to it?”

Tim managed a small smile. “I asked him if he were a piece of music, what would he be.”

Gertrude gave him a disapproving look. “I thought I told you not to contact him.”

“I didn’t. I asked him that before you left. It was what we were talking about at the pub when you called.” Tim glanced at the clock on the wall. “Jesus, it’s only been an hour. Feels like it’s been forever.”

Gertrude, too, glanced at the clock. “I don’t imagine it will be much longer.”

Tim shook his head. “Craniotomies take anywhere from three to five hours. And considering they made the decision to do the surgery right away instead of scheduling it for a few weeks out when he hasn’t had a cigarette, it’s probably bad enough that they thought the risks of tobacco use on surgery are better than the risk of waiting, so it’s probably going to take a little longer. We won’t hear anything until early evening.”

Dismay and annoyance mingled in Gertrude’s mind. She had hoped to be on the road that day…and, all right, she still could, but two to four more hours had not been in her plan. Still…she would put up with it. It would still mean she had spent no more than twenty-four hours in the hospital, and she could at least make the next train out of Chicago.

It was another hour before it occurred to her to be surprised at herself for not even considering the possibility of just leaving then and there.

People came and went, responding to doctors’ summons or settling in to wait or taking small children who couldn’t sit still any longer to stretch their legs or rushing in to find out how’s it going. Tim coerced Gertrude into playing a simple pen and paper game she remembered from her childhood but hadn’t played in ages, meaning she got thoroughly trounced three times in a row before she recalled the strategy and started out-maneuvering him. She was just about to suggest he consider closing his eyes for a few minutes when the door opened once again and a vaguely familiar man stepped out.

“Who’s here for Gerard Keay?” he called softly. Like most Americans, he mispronounced the first name.

Tim got to his feet so fast Gertrude was almost surprised the sudden change in altitude didn’t make him dizzy. She rose at a more reasonable pace and followed him as he went to speak to the surgeon. She could feel the anxiety rolling off him, but one look at the doctor’s expression and she knew he needn’t worry.

“How is he?” Tim asked as soon as he was in range.

“Doing amazingly well. He got here just in time.” The neurosurgeon smiled. “It was a very large tumor, and it appears to be growing rapidly—I can’t think how he wouldn’t have noticed it before otherwise.” Gertrude kept her face blank with effort. “But we were able to get all of it, as far as we can tell.”

Tim swallowed. “Can I see him? Can I be there when he wakes up?”

“He’s awake now. We had to keep him alert for the surgery so that we could ask him questions, to be certain the removal didn’t affect memory or movement. But he passed with flying colors, which means we were been able to remove it without loss of function. We’re taking him to intensive care for the night, just as a precaution, but he’ll be able to go to a regular room in the morning. And you can stay with him, of course. Just give us twenty minutes to get him settled and we’ll come back for you.”

“Thank you, Dr. Greene.” Tim’s face shone with relief.

Dr. Greene smiled, patted his arm, and headed out the door again. Tim sank to the nearest chair, looking as though a weight had lifted from his shoulders.

Gertrude, too, confessed to a certain amount of relief. She sat down next to Tim. “I told you he would be fine.”

Tim managed a cheeky grin. “Never doubted you for a minute, boss.”

Gertrude smiled back, then got serious. “You have the folio?”

Tim reached into his bag and pulled it out. Gertrude nodded, then reached into her own bag, pulled out a notebook, and handed it to him. “Here. Everything we’ve collected so far. I have a backup copy”—she patted the pocket where her laptop and its various accoutrement rested—“but you’ll need this.”

Hesitantly, Tim took the notebook, then unzipped the folio and tucked it in. “Am I…taking it back to London?”

“No.” Gertrude zipped her bag up and slung it over her shoulder. “Not yet, anyway. Once Gerard is well enough to leave the hospital, and once he’s able to travel, I want the two of you to continue the journey. The next step is Pittsburgh—all the notes are there—and from there, I trust you’ll be able to follow the trail.”

Tim sat up a little straighter at that. “Of the Stranger?”

Gertrude nodded. “I need access to the Archives for at least some things, and if we’re going to tip our hand that you’re helping me to stop the Unknowing, I’d rather you not be directly under Elias’s eye. More to the point, I don’t want him to be aware that you know about all the rituals. You may be safer if he thinks you only know about the Stranger’s. Regardless, head to Pittsburgh and check the Hall of Records. The specifics are in my notebook. Beyond that, I trust you to use your discretion.”

“How long do we have?”

“As long as you need. I’ll call if you need to return. In the meantime, stay in touch.” Gertrude rose. “And be sure to submit your receipts as frequently as you can. I’ll have the Institute reimburse you. Once you’re on the trail, of course. Until you leave for Pittsburgh, you’ll officially be on leave.”

Tim stood, too. “Don’t forget about the fire suppressant system. Elias has been ignoring the stuff I submitted.”

“I won’t.” It likely wouldn’t come to anything, but Gertrude would give it a go. She held out her hand. “Good luck, Tim.”

“Good luck, Gertrude.” Tim shook her hand solemnly. “And…thank you. For everything.”

“Thank you,” Gertrude said, in a rare show of sincerity. “I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”

She patted his shoulder, shifted the weight of the bag, turned on her heel, and strode out of the hospital. She would head to the Amtrak station, explain the situation, and see if they would move her ticket to tonight. Then, instead of stopping in Pittsburgh, she would continue on to Washington, D.C. and visit the Usher Foundation to see if her files from Pu Songling had arrived. Then she could catch the next flight back to London, and to her Archives.

Tim and Gerard would be fine. They would continue the work abroad, while she continued it at home. It was the optimal strategy.

She just had to hope it was the right one.

[theoceantot]

Chapter 5

After talking with Bruce I decided I wanted to go try and find everyone else. Hopefully we would still get along even though I wasn't feeling young. Eventually I found them in the kitchen making breakfeast. Tim was flipping eggs, Dick was getting drinks for everyone and Barb was setting the table. 'Alfred must not be feeling well' I thought.

"There she is! Good morning sunshine" Tim waved at me

I waved and smiled a bit averting my gaze

"Not that talkative when you're not in little space huh?" Barbara laughed.

"I was threatened with my life if I spoke what do you expect"

That must have came off rude because they seemed suprised that I said that. I mean it was the truth i'm not gonna sugar coat it. Being little was so much more easier than being big. At least I didn't really have to communicate.

"Anyways, Bruce said that you guys need to help me with my powers and stuff so when can we start?"

"After breakfast, do you like eggs? If not I can make something else"

"I like eggs just fine thanks Tim"

"No problem kiddo"

When Tim gave me my eggs I started eating really fast, afraid that this was the last meal I was ever gonna have.

"Its not going anywhere kid slow down" Dick laughed

After I finished I was a bit embarrassed. Its just that they didn't feed me a lot in that cell. I'm just scared that any minute now they'll bust through that door and take me away. To the dark place. He left me in pitch darkness until he came down to play with me some more. So when the light came on I knew things were gonna get bad.

"Sweetie are you okay? You're spacing out" Barbara asked and reached her hand out to touch me. I flinched and my eyes must have turned blue because everyone looked a bit scared.

"I'm okay"

Nobody looked convinced but they let it go.

They took me outside where there was a hug pool. It even had a waterfall which I thought was really cool. Geesh this guy was rich rich. Barb wanted to review what I could do with my powers. So I walked on the water, breathed underwater, and moved the water with my mind.

"Nice job, but now lets try to do some attacks. Do you think yoy can do that"

My mind went back to slicing those guys in half and suffocating the madman. What if I accidently hurt them?

"I don't wanna hurt you guys. Last time I used my powers I killed people" I shuttered and started crying. Those little feelings were coming back. But I need to be big. When I figure out my powers then I can regress. Have to be stronger.

"Kid we promise you wont hurt us now just show us what you can do" Tim encouraged

First thing I tried to do was the water strikes again. Tim and Dick dodged it easily. Suprisingly when it made impact with the manor it didn't damage it just left wet marks.

We all trained for a couple more hours so I could figure out new attacks and how to use them. Still wasn't able to hit them at all so that sucked but I'm a little grateful just incase I accidently hurt them.

More attacks I could do was

1. Slam the ground and make water come out

2. Launch a water ball that trapped them in a water bubble for 10 seconds. (I missed the attack on Dick and hit a nearby chair

3. Control the water and make it attack for me

I'm so tired from all of this. All I wanna do is find papa and have him hold me. Barb must see me getting sad because she comes over to me and takes a pacifier out of her bag and gives it to me.

"You've had a long day haven't you little bat. How about we go find Bruce and he can take a nap with you"

I tiredly nodded my head and held my arms out for Dick to carry me. He took me in his arms quickly and started teasing me

"Why are you so tired baby? You didn't even hit us" He laughed

I babbled in annoyance and hit his back obviously not hurting him with how weak I was. By the time we made it to my nursery I was already half asleep. Bruce thanked them all for training me while he put me on the large changing table taking off my clothes. For some reason Perse didn't care about Bruce seeing her in her underwear and bra. She knew he wasn't going to judge her body or do anything to her. He just wanted to get her comfortable. Bruce put Perse in her crib and covered her up in the soft pink blanket. Perse started to cry reaching up at her caregiver not wanting him to leave her alone

"Baby I'm right here I'm not going anywhere"

Perse still continued to cry out wanting to cuddle with him while she fell asleep.

"Do you want me to hold you? Is that it pumpkin?"

She nodded and stopped crying. Bruce chuckled and took her out of the crib and went into his own room where he layed Perse down and layed next to her where she quickly fell asleep.

(Meanwhile)

Jason has been getting tortured for 6 months by that sick clown. He didn't lose hope that Batman was gonna save him not knowing that he wasn't coming. Nobody was coming. Joker was going on about how they should team up and wreak havick on the innocent. Jason was tuning him out until Joker said something that made his whole body run cold.

"Just like Bats and his new kids"

"No he wouldn't!" Jason protested

"You think! So this isn't Batman then? Weird. The pointy ears are usually a dead giveaway" Joker said showing him a picture of batman and Tim.

"No..."

Joker laughs as he takes out the next picture

"You thought that one was bad? Look at this!"

Joker showed Jason pictures of the sliced up dead bodies that Perse killed and then showed a picture of her wrapped in Batmans cape.

"So Batman will save a murderer but won't even come save you? How disappointing is that?" Joker laughed.

"Im sure he took her to arkham right after"

"No no no no no Jason my boy! He took her in as his own! Shes now a member of the batfam. Isn't that just sweet" Joker took out another picture that was taken that day of Batman sitting with you on a building. Both your legs hanging over the edge with Perse leaner into him smiling softly.

"I didn't want to show you those photos really I didn't. But it was the only way for you to get closure. Now I know it hurts but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind"

Joker then proceeds to beat Jason with his cane. 'After everything we went through he can just replace me like that? I'll destroy him I swear on everything'

[cat-soap-opera]

i found out the schedule for the school im starting in spring, and its gonna make working on CoRV a bit more difficult... im gonna make it a goal to finish most, if not all, of the pre-production before july, and then see if i can thumbnail the entirety of act 1 during the summer break. then i can chip away at those pages whenever i have the time for it. note that i probably wont start posting pages until the entirety of act 1 is done, which atm includes a prologue and three chapters, so 2025 is the earliest possible release date at this point.

my school is only gonna last for a year thankfully, but we'll have to wait n see how busy i'll be after graduation. at least after graduating i wont have to travel out of town everyday, so that won't be cutting into my art time lol

[tigerbears]

EDIT: HAVE SINCE FOUND A BETA-READER! (who is a friend of mine) CURRENTLY GIVEN UP ON FINDING MORE! (though if your interested feel free to reply to this post/ask in asks)

Searching for Beta readers for my Undertale/Deltarune fics?

So far I've just been asking my friends for beta reading but deciding to search for more wider beta readers in the fandom.

(Decided to do so after reading this guide)

I've currently got 2-3 2-4 beta readers working on the fic, though most of them are just basically people who read it earlier. The one who's been the best at beta-reading I think wont be able to keep up with my one chapter every two weeks schedule, (and I'm actually considering making that just the "minimum goal" and just having a more loose schedule) so sending this off to find more betareaders.

Here's some relevant info if your interested.

The current fic I'm working on is a Snowgrave fic, so expect it to be dark and full of some angst. I've so far got 5-6 9-10 chapters written, at various stages of drafts/betareading. Also some CW/TW so far for this fic: Anxiety, trauma, guilt, grief, gaslighting, panic attacks, emotional/psychological manipulation and abuse, physical abuse (Thorn Ring), mind control, and suicidal ideation (Crossed out the last one as it was only in older drafts. May return later though.) While reading let me know if I need to add more. Expect the rating to be in the "Teen And Up Audiences" range on AO3, or at least that's what I'm aiming for.

This snowgrave fic is going to be Suselle centric, at least for the first section. (What? Need some stuff to lighten the mood so it ain't 90% angst darkness. Maybe 55-60% angst/Darkness, and 40-45% hurt/comfort, and some gay Suselle things)

I have plans for less angstey/more fluffy fics in the future, so dont worry if you want you can just get in contact for when I have less... dark fics... For these fics, two examples I have are 1: "A kind of ambitious post-pacifist Undertale fic I've always wanted to write that I'm waiting until I get some experience for" 2: "A few Deltarune prequel fics set before Dess's disappearance, the main one being about Noelle realizing she's trans because I love the headcanon and wanted to do my own take." (EDIT: Think if I'm ever writing this, I think I'm going to make this fic broader/not just Noelle centric. Probably going to start with Kris coming out as enby to Azzy.) Generally for my fics I'm aiming around the "General Audiances/Teen And Up Audiances" rating on AO3.

I just want some general beta reading for the fics I write. (just generally on everything). However, one thing I'm going to be looking for in later fics is anyone under the non-binary umbrella willing to do sensitivity reading. I plan for the Post pacifist UT & DR prequel fics to go into Kris, Frisk, and Chara's enby gender identities. (Examples: Asriel helping Chara realize their enby in my UT fics, and Kris coming out as non-binary at the start of my "Noelle realizes she's trans pre-canon Deltarune fic which would have at least one subplot about Noelle realizing she's trans" fic.) While I am trans, I'm not non-binary, so I'd want some sensitivity readers go over that and point out if I've messed up anything when it comes to Enby rep.

Feel free to include your first reactions while reading the fic! (from the friends who've beta read in the past, seeing their reactions were honestly the best part lol)

Let me know if you would/would not want to be credited!

Current scheduled: currently I'm just writing a back catalog of chapters for the snowgrave fic. Don't really have a schedule but I at the fastest I plan to release chapters at a pace of one chapter every two weeks. Once I've gotten the first three to five chapters beta-read by all my readers I'll likely start sending off chapters at that pace at least. I don't want to compromise my writing quality with deadlines. My only real goal is to finish/at least release the first few chapters before Deltarune Chapters 3-4 gets released.

If you want to have a snippet of my past writing, I've so far posted one fic on AO3 about Noelle coming out as trans to Berdly. (Though I honestly think I've done a lot more unpublished fic writing so I do think I've improved quite a bit since this fic)

Anyway, if your interested feel free to send an ask/message me on tumblr! (from there we can talk more about specifics/communication/ect)

EDIT: It's been a week and I've yet to get a response. Crossed out messages bc I've since closed them. If your still interested in betareading use the asks.

[fictionfixations]

part 2 of the new book 7 update cause i have more mystium

spoilers of course part 1

part 3 the final part

the way i just got the widest smile at this

anyway i forgot to mention it last post but knowing that they were just kinda left alone while everyone went to nrc makes me really sad. like first silver and sebek without lilia and malleus (they have sebbies family tho)

and then silver left next year. sebek all alone. he has his family still but like. man. gone for a year.

and in that time he was alone he got his signature spell and worked hard on it not wanting any of them to know about it until he got better at it, but it also meant that they never knew he could do that because they werent there and im just sad :( and it sometimes makes me wish at least silver and sebek were the same age so they couldve gone the same year and sebek didnt have to be without their company for so long

fshuidf i clicked past it like a dumbass but heres anther instance of baur saying he'll swallow them whole similar to sebek's battle start line

going to cry now because what the fuck 100k hp i hate myself my strongest units are really low hp BEAT THEIR ASS GEN LILIA oh my god they do so much damage im going to cry good news is i dont think theres another battle after this so this is.. fine.

and this time i didnt head straight to it and miss all the buffs from like the camps and stuff 💀 also i actually have more built cards this time before this i only had like one other casualty, that being the dorm sebek they give you (i only managed to have him duo off of gen lilia once and then i never got the spells to line up after that and then he died). so now its my whole team + dorm sebek thanking myself for leveling the spells of the other riddles i got that i did for no reason other then cause i like riddle (no intention of actually using them considering i already have a perfectly fine dorm riddle) LMFAO also thank battlemap for letting you bring a shit ton of characters. i havent used epel in forever 😭(rook is also VERY underleveled lmfao)

also im a dumbass i kept using the healing spells first turn.. ..but it didnt even do anything because i need to take damage first so its like. why did i do that. did i think id get my health lost in a previous battle back..?????

😱

aww the sparkles bruhs accomplished his lifes dream and i am here for it 👍

NOO GUYS LISTEN TO HIMM

he gave us his cloak 🥺

know i said id set my homescreen to sebek but... this feels more fitting

i wish that you didnt have to complete a book to get the backgrounds. i want my book 7 backgrounds with the music :(((

like i want. the the the. yknow when silver is confident in lilias love for him again and in the background you hear like i think once upon a dream? or i saw a prince(?? idk the other name for it its just what ive heard) and i. i want that. it also played when we see the dawn knight in the the the area where you travel across dreams where he smiled and then faded away

i dont have lilias room so silver will have to do

i need two more mystium aghhhhh the wait is insufferable but since im almost finished im gonna wait before posting

i watched someone go through the story on jp and i just remember stressing out so bad because holy fuck what happened what do we do. like i was feeling that stress of AHH GOTTA GET EGG AWAY and worry over maleanor but now i know what happened so im a little less stressed. im still stressed in the sense of FUCK YOU FUCK YOU BATTLES but like.. im not hanging in suspense anymore

anyway i think im gonna end it after battlemap is finished and do another post for the chapters outside of battlemap. especially because i dont want to hit the image limit. i cant remember if theres another battlemap but i dont THINK there should be.

anyway questioning why im making another post when i ended first post pretty early and couldve edited it? because people whove already seen it wont see it again 💀 and i mean if they wanna see book 7 stuff when the update only happened like 3 hours ago then ok ill show you what i can and make it visible enough for you to notice in the event youve already seen the other post

anyway while im waiting for one more mystium im warning you that if you cried the last update, to prepare to cry again. book 7 is just really sad man.

okay im gonna stop it here on THIS post (i will still be playing) and keep an eye out for part 3 with the rest (assuming theres not more story then i can make images of)

[makahimetenshi]

Falling or not - Paladin Danse x Sole Survivor Fanfic

This is the 1 part of a series of fics im writing lately, the order will be:

Falling or not?

May I use your shower?

Volver a tener algo

Addicted to Chems

Fooling around together

Traumas at the Commonwealth

Being awake

Since im in a rampage writing with this new ship I want to make some announcements

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and coments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive coments of wanting to know what happends next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

They were travelling together since Nate joined the brotherhood, and now since they were prepairing to build the teleport machine walking around all the Commonwealth was pretty normal, to the north to direct south, no things to do in the middle, a lot of walking, they could use ventibirds but that was a privilege that Maxson give sometimes to some people and Nate as miserly as he was, didnt want to abuse of that chances afraid of running low and needing it…and it was true, even Danse wasnt permitted to travel on ventibirds as much he wishd with years of service and a life dedicated as paladin, it was okay, part of their mission was also patrol the land and help other brothers in distress. Also Nate stop to help some of his Minutemens he encounter on the way, it was fine.

Both were heading to Sanctuary Hills, Nate needed some supplies and change some guns with others he had at…home…despite everything the man said that if he started to paid a loan for that rooft it didn’t matter if the bombs fall, it was still his home.

Danse didn’t have a problem, he feeled safe around Nate and getting some supplies for an specific task was a valid reason to move a little…and he needed to stop by a power armor station too, his power armor was low in state and needed the maitenence

Its been two weeks since Nate had the wonderfull idea to flirt and joke around a bit after Danse confessed his worries about being a good squat leader.

“you gave me something to think” said the paladin making the bombs fall again inside the knights brain

What the fuck, hows that of something to think what are you meaning with it? What are you gonna do with that info? He just ask if he was going to lean his shoulder over when he need it and wont disappear or die to not let him alone because he cared and Danse took it so personally and deep…

He said it joking like bros but the first flirt took him by surprise and really messed up with his head nononono this wasn’t his intention he said it chill and why it was still such a big thing for him too….

Ah…he may be falling? Just like that? Just with a little of reciprocate interest? Nate was unsure of his feelings but knowing that the paladin wasn’t closed to it…

He had…Nora…

He will always be Noras…

Why he would have interest in anyone in the Commonwealth? They were sick, dirty, mean, low intelligence….well that sound a bit racist but besides the Cobes family who the hell have a good life in this hell of time? He was nice, of course, he wouldn’t say those things, he understanded very well that no one can cahnge the situation and make it better enought, the destruction was too much to even try to make something on large time, they didn’t chose to be born in this horrible world and cant be misjudged by that but…

He didn’t want to be here neither, he was just in a crusade to save Shaun, letting himself go forward witout thinking much just until finding him and then…well no idea but he will figure out something, for his sake.

But there he was, getting all clumbsy because a man say yes to him in a not so clear way…wow…just right there he thought about how suppressed his feelings were…to not feel…to not love…

Will Danse say yes maybe to a third flirt? Should Nate stop thinking in such things? Just the possibility make his heart ache in confussion and make a mess but…it would be so bad?

Yes, it would be, Nora was still there, in Sanctuary Hills, waiting him and Shaun to return.

-Theres some people were we are going that you should meet, and I want you to be open mind and not shoot them please –Nate said to Danse, they were close walking in Concord, passing just the place where his…veterans event should have place if the bombs didn’t fall…

-What do you mean? –hell no more surprises

-Along with human citizens of the Commonwealth there is a supermutant named Strong, my handyrobot Codsworth, a raider name Cait…

-Why the hell you choose that company to leave in your hometown where theres people you want alive

-Shup up I paid Codsworh expensive with my credit card and 200 years later it was worth every penny, Strong is there because he likes to smash things and around Sanctuary Hills theres two points that often catchs raiders attention as a pottencial base, Concord, were we are walking now  and a mine no so far away.

-But theres no raiders around here –Danse looked everywhere, he see bodies, yes, bodies of raiders, bodies he cant care any less and wouldn’t even give a look to inspect more, their lifes were worthless for him, still it wasn’t a rampage of bodies like you see next to buildings in the Commonwealth.

-That’s Strong work, if he sees leather and spikes, he smashes, same with the mine, we clean and a few weeks later some other new group appears, I honestly don’t like to kill them, I try to persuade them when im with Strong to leave, but raiders doesn’t ration, they don’t get reasons, they don’t wanna negociate…so Strong smashed –even for Danse, Nate sometimes have a dark mind about the value of life for…some people…he didn’t like to kill but he had a really quick way to decide that if someone is pissing off, bullet on the brain goes- im not always around, I cannot let some random raiders take my home, as far as I investigated with Cait the ones that often comes are non organized groups, from other parts of the Commonwealth, clearly they are not getting the news about the Supermutant doing purges on Concord and the mine...so if they are not listening to reasons when im around…let Strong smash

-Arent you afraid of the supermutant loosing control or anything? They are not very sm –Nate quickly moved his head, denying.

-Strong is a smart supermutant, the first one I know besides Virgil, a poet who lives in a post here in the commonwealth try to spread a word to educate them in philosophy an lectures…it worked just on him, the rest of his mutant family imprisioned both, knewing totally what they were doing…I came in a distress help from the poet in the radio and…we killed all his supermutant family…together…just to get out of there…-Nate sounded a bit his nose, knowing that at telling his story he zooned out a bit, sometimes, he zooned out, speaking of this horrors was good for the soul, he liked having someone to talk to that would understand the situation, like first hand, it wasn’t a fantastic tale for Danse like it was for Codsworth, sometimes he tries to express his things to some other person and it sounds like fantasy, difficult to imagine and understand, so many horrible details and non real situations…but they were very real…

And Danse understand, imagine and if he doesn’t get it he really tries, he doesn’t avoid the subject, he values his experiences at least to make a lesson or an opinion…

Danse have field experience, he see things and can perceive them as possible and sometimes even normal, unlike people, human people, normal people who just try to survive everyday and work just…understanded that this things can happen…but tries to avoid them, tries to not live and suffer them, most of them just live with the filth and the poberty, but try to avoid the danger.

Nate cant do that, he was always on the mouth of danger, at least until he find Shaun…

-Have you ever do another thing with the supermutant? Other that doesn’t involve killing or the promise of killing –even if there was always the promise of killing in every corner of the wasterlands….

It wasn’t like Danse was trowing mean vibes or wanted to discuss the man but you can keep a low intelligence individual by promising things that will offer instant gratification and it will obey as long it last…

-He does other chores, yes, sometimes the residents ask him help or I send him to other settlements –Danse noded a hmmmmmm pretty surprised-So he is one of the things I will ask you to not be mean at, Strong saved my life a lot of times, supermutand and all but he is a good partner

What a definition of good partner was that, Danse smiled, he could get jelous

-Tell me about the other two…

-Well Codsworth is a handyrobot I bought as a surprise gift for Nora when she was pregnant at home with Shaun,  I was away still on service so I wanted to…make my presence…Codsworth was the first face I see at exiting vault 111…it was a relief to see him at home but…it was all an illusion, nothing was right –Nate was talking with a shady voice again, it was hard for him to talk about the prewar most of the times…-I know in the brotherhood we are not fond of robots, since I didn’t see many on service or helpers, but Codsworth is my robot and he has an awesome personality, so please, be nice, don’t shoot, hell be respectfull with you –Danse noded, again not convinced but oh well it was just a robot…

-Then a rider? Any other surprise?

-Well not for today…as I know, I haven’t been here in three weeks…Her name is Cait, I found her in the combatzone and we had…such a strange encounter…-the paladin raise an eyebrow- I have to confess, if you wanted to shoot someone, but please do not, it would be her…she is…strange…

-What kind of strange are you talking about? A smart supermutant is strange to me

-She is always making weird sexual jokes and mocking at me…and she gets mad fast, really low tempered…we travel a few times to do some works and I didn’t like the vibes…so I gave her a house and a nice place to stay…

-That doesn’t sound smart from you, what if she is violent?

-Theres Preston and Sturges around, also Codsworth has a really nice knifes –didn’t he said he was only a handyrobot?- I think she is just weird, I cant give her a psycologist but at least good conditions to rest and chill…as I said we worked together a few times and we have each other back so…consider it a payback if she is still there…the last four times I was here she was staying, doing things around up and there for the settlement and the neightbords…so…she is a help, I just don’t like being around, you know, people some times have or not chemistry with other people

-Things can happened –said Danse, resting a bit of importance, despite the supermutant it wasn’t that bad, just a misbehaved asshole, nothing he didn’t handle before

-We are close, don’t stop by red rocket, we have our own power armor station in Sanctuary –Nate said at looking at the big red rocket at the distance, it was a very nice reference to find his hometown, Danse nodded next to him and in a few minutes they were crossing the bridge to Sanctuary, hands up.

It was strange coming up home with your hands up? It surely is but Sturge set up those torrets at the entrance to do that exact thing, it you are hands up you may not be necessary pacific but at least you cant shoot at no one, it was also a safe code for all the people that lived here that they were part of the community and not outsiders, outsiders are obliged to raise their hands and come in peace and they…just do it for practicity.

-Looks who is back –a woman voice emerged from behind a scrapped wooden door, passing trought running Dogmeat appear, jumping directly to Nates arms to hug, and lick, and jump and play around him at how happy it was.

Danse liked dogs, he liked seeing Dogmeat too, he never had a dog before but they were wonderfull creatures and the way his tail moved from happiness at seeing Nate was cute, it makes his heart happy to see that.

-Its that the way to receive the general? –Nate was on the floor caressing and playing with Dogmeat, grabbing his nose and pocking it .

-Are you going to say anything to Preston?

-I can, im the general –Danse looked at them talking…it wasn’t that bad…

-You were away from a long time!

-Well the castle is pretty far away from here…

-You know who is going to have a blast now you are here? Longfellow! I don’t know why that old gag gets so happy around you

-Because he uses every special ocation as an excuse to drinks

-Touche, lets get in

So this was the raider Cait? She wasn’t that bad.

-Well be staying here for a few days

-Who is your friend? Another one you recluted for Sanctuary?

-No, he already has a home, his name is Paladin Danse –Nate pointed at him and Danse saluted politely, the redhead came a step closer to him and took a look from toes to head.

She was cute, cute factions, cute face, very delicate.

-Theres nothing like the smell of power armor grease and testosterone –she said, making Danse smile at how occurent that comment was.

-The aroma is rather…pungent…

Nate, who was in the middle of them became…STILL…FROZEN…

Nononononononono were they flirting? Nonono he didn’t ask for that nooooo hes been daydreaming with the paladin and he make the mistake to introduce him to a hot chick he said he didn’t like…

Calm calm down…he said some nasty things he doesn’t have to like her…

That last one stay on Nates mind as he walked inside the settlement, letting them talk not wanting to be there anymore…

And what if he does? Danse wasn’t his...and he was Noras…

What a terrible mistake! He should go to another settlement! He didn’t have it clear with his own feelings to now feel bad about…loosing? Danse but…what was he loosing? He didn’t do…No…he did…but no enough. If he chooses the cute girl…well he didn’t have a chance neither in his sleep!

Oh this was bad bad bad, just a few hours ago he was wondering about that time he flirted twice with Danse asking himself if it was okay to take it to seriously and now…he enter in panic because he get jelous at the minimum interaction with someonelse suresuresure he was okay about Haylen because DANSE ITSELF said she was just a member of his squad but oh my he never thought in third parties…

He looked back, and at seeing them still talking in front of the door his hands went to his hair, taking a big sight before accelerating his steps.

-Come on boy, lets talk to Preston –he called to Dogmeat and walk away from the scene, he didn’t wanna see that anymore, cant deal with it

Danse do as Nate told him, move around, use the facilities, talk to people and feel comfortable, because why the hell not, if he invited the man to the Prydwen where all his family, reputation and life was why he cant be around his hometown? So he did, he eat some because everybody knows that Nates friend are everybodys friend and are fucking kinda obligued to be nice apparently, use the power armor station, take a look at Nate collection of power armors…

What a waste…so many scattered around the Commonwealth, repaired and everything but out of use because Nate wont find himself comfortable inside one…and because he had the power fist or GRA or something he didn’t paid to much attention…

-So you are relying on the supermutant help only? –Danse was trying to be nice, not be despitefull as he smashed some aluminium to repair his power armor chest.

-I know what you are trying to do, so im going to be patient to you –Sturges approatched him while he was repairing some turrents that went down the other day- we are still here okay?

Yeahyeahyeahyeah of course not everycorner of the Commonwealth was militarized like the Prydwen and that didn’t make them shitholes…but they were…but he cant say it because people gets offended…I mean Nate shared those thoughts but never said them loud, in fact apparently they get along because the man have high standars that right now the Prydwen have less or more to satisfy, like hot showers. Of course, high standars for him and all the habitants of the wastelands, for Nate it was basic lifestyle before the bombs fell, but right now they were highstandars, if you let the man talk he was so hatefull of life in the wastelands in general…

He had reasons tho, he understanded and was able to imagine  despite being unable to do anything about it, imagine living in one word and waking up in another totally different…

And then see your wife getting shot and kill.

And your baby kidnapped.

Nate was a hard man, difficult to understand, luckily, for him it didn’t turn out so harsh to do.

-Yes, theres Preston, you, Longfellow, Cait…some other settlers...

-Some Minutemens that often come by, we may rely a lot on Strong but we are thought too

-I don’t doubt it but neither of you have military training and the equipment you have here is…

-We scrap as much we can, this are the resources the Commonwealth  gives us, the general helps a lot too –Danse slurpred some saliva, better talk carefull around a man who respect his superior.

-Most of you all don’t know how to shoot a different type of gun, you are not gunners or an organized group

-Well we haven’t been here for a lot of time neither, it takes a lot of work to build practically from 0 with your bare hands, Preston and his old team were the ones that help us to not die when out home was attacked by gunners, now that you mention it

Danse take a breath, he wasn’t handling well the conversation.

-Im just saying that you may want all to learn some training about shooting and avoiding, not rely on the help of a supermutant

-Strong is a good fella –not like Sturges was denying his point but he will stand for the creature that was keeping their home safe.

-How can you trust that his damaged brain by the VEF will always stay like this? One day he could lost the reason and…

-We trust –Sturges said, looking back at him –We have a way to trust him, don’t expect you to understand –how could he explain a foranger that Mama Murphy told him that everything will be right with the supermutant? That she has visions that are always alright? That she wants to be constantly drugged to have that visions? It didn’t sound right to explain to an outsider, no matter how much of a friend of the general he was

Danse didn’t feel comfortable, didn’t understand the way of people who didn’t use the reason and possibilities…when there was danger in everycorner, everybody should be more carefull.

-You need to finish the wall on the river right? –Sanctuary had fences in process to be finished all around the old neighborhood

-What about i?

-Why didn’t you fence the water area?

-Oh Nate didn’t want to cut around the water, he preffer to expand that leaving the river out, I said that doing that we may have the river increasing one day in a rain and have a problem but he said that the fences we made may not be enough to seal the waters, not hermetic enough, that we need to find concrete to make real walls, dig very very down the earth to really seal…I suggested that the gunners have those kind of walls for strategic and shooting points so the proyect of finishing the fence is delayed until we figure out whats best, if stealing a camp of runners or finding a place with that much concret and cement…which I believe is difficult, is a short resource, its really a treasure to find a bag of concrete ready to make so his idea has a really difficult execution…like I said, delayed

Rest of the afternoon he repaired his power armor and went to take a bath of…cold water…they have a purified water machine so at least it wasn’t radioactive but it wasn’t a pleasant bath and the nights at the Commonwealth were cold, at least they managed to make clean beds and sheets, cleaner than in the Prydwen even.

He didn’t saw Nate until night, he was talking to the old gag Longfellow, just talking, in the settlement they all eat together in an oriel they put at the street so first, they don’t waste much wood, they don’t make much lights or smoke, they can count properly the quantity of food used each day for inventory purposes.

If they are eating in the street they can keep an eye everywhere and not be exposed to a surprise attack while they were enjoing the evening, poor? Sure, efficient? Well…not so much…the best thing they can do with the little amount of people they have? At least give them that credit to have…

The night fall, Danse see the supermutant for the first time walking around Sanctuary, according to what Cait said to him he went nearby the settlement. It was huge, and it reminded him of Cuttler, his old friend…the ticking on his hand to grab his laser rifle and shoot him were huge but…he wouldn’t do it, he was ask to not, people trusted that thing and he had no right to…impose the brotherhoods ideals…

Then he saw Nate, talking chill in a table full of diverse people, sharing a meal.

He may be dissobeing the brotherhood by letting that evening happen, by letting that supermutant alive just because a vault man ask him…

Lets just say he was in a Minuteman territory and preffer to obey and take in consideration their rules on their land to not cause a diplomatic problem…yes…that could work…after all the Commonwealth wasn’t the Brotherhood territory…there were here just to help and fight the institute…

He was getting soft around that man.

The next day Nate expend the morning in bed, rolling around looking at the open ceiling. Yes, he was tired, again it was a long trip, yes, he deserved the rest, yes, everybody will understand if he expend the day on bed and not ask him if he was sick or hurt or in pain or anything…he gave Preston the command to please not be disturbed…

His mind keep thinking about yesterday…nononono what did he do…he cant force the man to like him, he wasn’t even sure if that’s what he wanted but definetly he didn’t want to loose a chance! Even a small chance…

Why was his brain doing that to him…only a few interactions and a pinch of jelousy made him terrible unsure if he wanted to forget about the man or marry him…

It was even okay to have this kind of feelings? To let himself grow a feeling? Love was a necessary human feeling, and the Commonwealth since he wake up wasn’t a place for sentimental creatures but…to be loved and cared…Kellogg took away that possibility when Nora was shoot in front of him…he missed it…he missed her…god he was a mess..

But Danse…he didn’t plan to die on his arms and let him alone, he find him to be a good partner with experience in fighting and surviving…it was a worry less wich is a lot, of course, he worried, he cared,  but how different it was to be serene around someone you know it wouldn’t die so easy that someone you don’t know…or don’t trust on his habilities…or know his lack of habilities. He needed that calm over his shoulders to move forward in this hostile word…He needed someone strong, not to rely, but at least to trust they were going to be okay.

Ah…he may be falling? Yes yes yes hell yes he was…he falled…completely unsustented but he falled…

He wanted Danse, but there wasn’t a how or when…it just have to develop…

A heavy feeling pressed on Nates chest, making difficult to breathe even completely relaxed in his bed looking at the ceiling, this had happen before.

He sighted and went up the bed to dress, he knew how to deal with this.

Afternoon, Danse was looking for Nate not because he had a reason but its been 24 since they separated and…well it wasn’t his home he didn’t feel completely comfortable in a place he didn’t know with a people he didn’t actually like…Looked everywhere, the place wasn’t that big, looked in everysingle house, even being uncomfortable around…

There was a woman this time at the entrance of Sanctuary, Dogmeat was with her, she had a rifle and apparently was patrolling at the gate.

-Hello –Danse called, she watched at him-do you know if the general come out? –he wouldt leave him…

-He is still around here, Preston tells me when we are waiting for someone familiar, despite the minutemans –Danse saluted and went back, ok, Preston was the second in command so it was a good idea to ask him.

The man was inside the house he claimed as his, even if he made guards and watchs frequently around.

-Welcome to my place –said Preston, it make Danse a bit unconfortable they keep the illusion of doors…and windows living in a place where everything was open with a lot of leaks and seethroughts…

-Oh actually I was just looking for Nate, figured out I can ask you –Preston hold the door a moment, since he wasn’t coming inside.

-Sorry, the general isn’t avalible right now –Danse raised an eyebrow, ok he didn’t expect that

-What do you mean?

-That the general is not receiving visits right now –no kidding

-Did anything happened…? –bussy Nate? Here? The only reason he could be off is only if he was jacking off but he wasn’t on his house

-The general doesn’t need to give explaitions –so we are getting like this? My god

-There are less than 20 people here do you really wanna do this

-Do you have full access to your superiors whenever you want back there in the Brotherhood or…-touche, still, he had a secret card to play

-You know is not a good idea to leave Nate alone right? –this time, Preston raise an eyebrow

-Because…?

-Of his chems addiction…-the man went to press his forehead with his fingers, sighting. That surprised Danse, he didn’t know that the thing about chems was something he let the others know…but pretty much anyone worked with him so at some point it becomes noticeable

-I thought we were past this…-cool, this was cool, his secret card was basically “don’t you know the general has a problem with chems? We shouldn’t let him alone!” or…”He is lately having a lot of that problems of you know…chems…” it was a bit of testing to see which one fitted right but you can play with people knowledge or ignorance, in any case neither wanted Nate dead by his own stupid addiction…saving people from their stupid acts often unites interest.

-Yeah I noticed while we were camping…he uses two or three dosis at day whenever he thinks he is alone…

-Look im not supposed to tell you where the general is

-Its okay, whenever he is I can act all surprised like…oh you were here? I don’t know I was just exploring…to no say it was you…

-Yeah he is gonna know, when you arrive there you will get why

-Then why don’t you go?

-He was pretty clear about not wanting to be disturbed

-Clearly a chems problem

-I cant discuss what my general want to do on his spare time

-But you know he has a chems problem

-What do you want me to do? Follow him like I was his boyfriend? –Danse close his lips, he was right, but still, wanted to find the man. Preston sighted looking up, tired, he didn’t know this man well, the fact it came with Nate didn’t mean anything to him, he didn’t want to put in danger his general neither by letting him alone and vulnerable…there…-ill go just right behind you, don’t try anything weird

Danse didn’t know what that mean but okay, Preston went inside the house a moment and came back with two baseball bats

-Are we going far?

-Less than 200mts, but we are never sure when the croaches end down there, you know those fuckers bite hard

Danse didn’t know what to expect, but he followed Preston lead.

Getting inside a vault from the main door was…weird…pretty uncommon in fact, most of the times a situation like this appeared he was chased by some monsters but this vault was…abandoned but in a pretty good state actually.

-Why are you keeping an operational vault? Where does the energy comes from…

-Shhhhhh we are not being prescisely quiet! –Preston didn’t want to be here, if Nate asked him for some time he will but at the same time didn’t want the man killing himself on grieve and overdose…-listen up! Im just right behind you! Don’t try anything weird on the general!

Ok Preston was here because he didn’t trust, Danse can respect that, he was taking care of his superior, both were but Preston didn’t have any obligation to trust him and it was okay, they didn’t know each other and he didn’t have much intentions of knowing him either…

An operational, abandoned, energized and uncontaminated vault…what a gem…

Nate have a lot of excepcional secrets and things to discover really.

Unlike what everybody was thinking, Nate actually wasn’t doing drugs.

Didn’t feel like it. Not in the mood, not wanting.

Preston was the only one that know where to find him when he wanted to be isolated, hell just be right here…sometimes when he is overwhelmed this is the only places where he wants to stay in the entire world.

In front of Noras frozen body.

Hell just sit right in front of her, looking at her dead face…she didn’t even die in her sleep like everyone around, she died in pain with a bullet as the cryo chamber closed again, pausing in time her face full of pain…

Life drifted away from her.

Nate sobbed, looking at her

-Im…feeling lost again Nora…-a monologue, it was a monologue, always a monologue, never ever a response from her-still looking for Shaun like I promised you but…I feel like whenever Im lost have to come back at you –he was in this exact position all the afternoon, looking at her, trying to talk, to look for some advice or calm- it has only been months, awfull months but do you think I deserve…im allowed…might feel love for someonelse? –he laughted at himself, he didn’t know if he was in love or if he needed in his persona again a strong feeling like love to keep him carry on,  did he wanted someone or did he wanted the motivation that love gives you everyday? He bited on his lip, didn’t know-you are still here, and you always be, never think on something elsebut…its difficult to stop this feelings from growing and you know how that turned for us so…-Nate laughted low, taking a bit mouth of air-i don’t know if its possible in this world to ever be happy again…but I know I want to love again, to at least feel love…

Walk inside a clean, untouched, empty but in a good state vault was such an experience…Preston was leading the way but at somepoint he stopped, looking back at him, the man apparently know well the place.

-You heard that? That’s the general, whatever you need to tell him do it, but don’t tell him I bring you here...-Danse nooded, looking at the direction the bat of the man was ponting, it was true, there was a human voice- ill be around but not on sight, remember, don’t do anything weird or youll regret it-Danse couldn’t physically feel that as a menace since he was so much a better fighter than him but okay, he dindt plan on hurting Nate either, so he went forward, letting the man behind.

When he enter to the room he saw Nate sitting on the floor, looking down, there was no chems or alcohol around…he was just there…sitting…the man looked at him a bit confused.

-How did you get here? –Danse was about to answer, looking around –Did Preston tell you anything?

-No –he said firmly, not wanting to be a jackass to the man who was supposly watching them-nono I came here on my own –apparently Nate has been crying, his eyes were all big and irritated

-Yeah right, Preston is the only one that knows this place, I wonder if im really a general here sometimes –the paladin looked around, there was a lot of cryo pods around and the one Nate was in front of…oh god…

-I was just worried, haven’t see you in all day and you didn’t left Sanctuary neither, I went to look for you –where all this people Nates neightbords from before the bombs fell?

-This is incredible I cant fucking ask some time for myself this is a terrible lack of respect…-Ok Danse get it, he was mad, interrupted on his grieve, he looked down, embarrassed, after all it was true he didn’t have a real reason to be bothering him, he was in right to disappear for a while if he needed.

-Im sorry, but believe me it wasn’t Preston, I came here by my own –Nate rolled his eyes and put a hand on his face- I just wanted to check if you were okay –clearly he wasn’t, but not for the reasons he thought…

Nate was mad, really angry, being disturbed in this place…his body was shaking and he had such urges to get up and smash anything…being molested while Nora was there watching him…

She isn’t really there.

-I don’t need anybodys help! Im not in danger and have for far much more experience being alone that neither of you! –Danse was surprised when the man get up and approatched him, very angered, that’s it he couldn’t let this pass as a paladin and a commander officer, he had to step on and put his best mean face to gain some authority back.

-Preston is not here! I told you! I tought you were in danger and came down here…

-You are the ones in danger here! –out of nothing and completely paralyzing the paladin Nate took out a laser pistol…his heart stopped for a moment, he never even dreamed with the man poiting a gun at him and yet…this was wrong…and he…couldn’t just fight back the knight…never thought on the possibility…less with a baseball bat…-You two have no chances down here with me, go and put those sticks onto your assholes! Im fully armor to the teeth…as I always have to be! Everymoment! –the paladin wanted to react, really react, protocol and everything he was told say that this was insubordination, that menacing an officer deserved a punishment, that this wasn’t something easy to pass but…he saw the faces of all the people on the cryo pods around and them see him, crying, yelling, trembling…

Danse sighted, not moving his eyes from him, raising his hands to let him now he wasn’t a menace

-Take as long as you need soldier-said slurping saliva-Im leaving, hoping to see you for dinner

-Just fucking leave me alone

The paladin never expect this…episode…from his knight…

Danse walked all ashamed and…frightened…to the entrance…just like they walk in how he will walk back…Preston was right, he shouldn’t try to stick his nose that deep…He meet the man at the entrance,  had a sad face on, clearly heard the conversation…

-Im really sorry general, take all the time you need –said Preston as he pushed the botons to get out

-Hell have to came out eventually right? –his body still tremble at the memory of the man pointing at him, yelling…

-As far as I know, he can lock himself in the vault forever and its his right to do so…-he was gratefull that the brotherhood man  really keep his word and didn’t snicht on him, even if their intentions were good…he knew this was delicate for Nate…this was a sacred place for him.

The paladin bite his tongue, he pushed his limits this time.

This was a lesson, he learned bad way to respect the boundaries, ways and rules outside the brotherhood. Not because a place was poor executed they were less than him…you are nothing while vulnerable and the disavtange of having a baseball bat vs a real gun…really make his  spine shiver and hands tremble…

Never underestimate Nate again…deep down he knows that the knight wont shoot him but…it was scary to imagine a bullet on the head shoot by him…

The memory of the woman in the cryo pod came to his mind again.

This was a place for laments, pain, and sorrow. After all Danse cant imagine being sealed in a tomb like this for eternity.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14237736/1/Falling-or-not

[xxnashiraxx]

BG3 TAG GAME ✨⚔️

Thank you thank you @verbenaa for tagging me in this!! I have been away from tumblr for a bit so my apologies for the delay!! 👉👈

Favorite Romance: It's the vampire. It's always gonna be the vampire. Funny thing about me- so I knew of Astarion before playing the game this January. One of our friends tried to convince my husband and I to play with him when it first came out in August but I was deep in my Fairy Tail writing project/multichapter story (of which has now been indefinitely postponed because of this game, 💔, but come July I will be insufferable when 100 Year Quest comes out, so stay tuned). I saw that there was a vampire elf in the game (cue my Thranduil crush and my Twilight/vamp obsession since childhood) and I instantly fell in love but didn't get fully immersed until my husband got the game in late December and seeing him interacting with the characters completely sold me.

Favorite Class to Play: I am still on my first playthrough! Going 5 months strong, thank you patch 6 for destroying my two playthroughs 💖 But I selected Durge first and went with the default Sorcerer and I absolutely LOVE it. I have a few Act 1 and 2 side campaigns with my husband playing cleric, rogue, and ranger, but by far Sorcerer is my favorite as well as Fighter. Planning on playing that class at some point because Lae'zel is just *chefs kiss*. 🤏

Favorite NPC: I love Alfira and all the tieflings so much, but specifically I love Rolan and Bex. I felt genuinely sad when meeting Bex again in Act 2, and I had to help her no matter what. Rolan started off as really nothing but a self centered jerk in my mind, but once I found him in Act 3, I just absolutely fell for him. 💗 I would also like to make a mention of Dame Aylin- she's the most beautiful angel I've ever seen and I would die for her.

Favorite Song Off the Soundtrack: The Power with lyrics. It is so surreal. My other frequently played are I Want to Live (obvi), Raphael's Final Act, and Song of Balduran (the one that ruined the only secret I hadn't managed to spoil for myself most likely hours before I discovered it on my own!). They all go so hard.

Tell Us a Little About Your Tav: My first and only so far is my Durge, the original Ofelia (not associated with my WIP fic). 💗 Once I finally started my own campaign (a few days after getting the game and starting to play with my group) I immediately chose that as one of my friend's chose Durge in our shared campaign and the character really interested me. She's a human storm sorcerer- I know sorcerer is the default for Durge and I kinda went with it, but I specifically chose this set up partly because of one of my favorite fic's main characters! Her backstory is super muddy, but she fiercely loves her friends and Astarion. 💗 She'd die for any of them, wishes she and Orin weren't enemies, and resists her father's influence as hard as she can. She's hot headed and wont take shit from anyone.

Something You Wish Was in the Game: I would actually love more voiced dialogue for Tav/Durge! I know it makes the game more immersive, but it would be super cool to see 💗

Do You Create Fanworks? Share Something With Us: I do! I like to draw and write, I've not created a ton of content so far, but I really like this Astarion art I've done

and I'm creating a multi-chapter story for my original character: it's an isekai where a woman from Earth/the modern world gets transported to BG3! The game isn't a thing on her Earth, so Faerun is canon in that universe lol. I'm actually really excited for it! I hope to start posting it soon- once I've hit Act 2 I will definitely start. I suffer from the condition of "not finishing fics" or at least I did years ago, but I am putting that behind me now and I'm going to trust myself and begin to post once I've cleared the first act 💕 Here's a little teaser for the opening of the first chapter!

An eerie quiet moves through the streets, cars fewer and farther between than normal. An unsettling feeling crawls over Ofelia’s skin and she shrugs her coat closer to her body, warding the night air off as she turns down a familiar alley. Her tiny apartment’s window glints at the end of the shadowed corridor and she grins, reaching into her pack to step back into her roller blades. This last stretch has always been the most fun, and perhaps it’s the trepidation hanging in the night, but a smile and some exhilaration seems like the perfect medicine. She just has to get home, kick start her weekend with a cocktail and a good book, and tomorrow she’ll finally be able to adopt the cat of her dreams.

With the last lace tied, she secures her skirt and hunches over, preparing to rocket down the alleyway. She feels her muscles tense, sets her jaw- prepares to beat her personal best. She can taste the moisture in the air and the warning of the impending storm approaching, feels it in her bones as she mentally counts down.

3… 2… 1…

She never moves. Something flickers out of the corner of her eye, large and black and hulking in the night. It roils and undulates in the sky above the city, sweeping over the buildings like a dark tidal wave. She doesn’t have time to scream when the mass careens towards her, doesn’t have time to raise her arms in defense of a hit that never comes. She’s only greeted with total black as her world spins out of control and she falls unconscious.

No pressure tag! @preciouslittlebhaalbae (if you haven't done one already!)

BG3 TAG GAME ✨⚔️

thank you so much to my wonderful and talented friend @khywren for tagging me in this 💖💞! I had so much fun doing this, even if it took me like three days to get to 😅

Favorite romance: in my Astarion era 💅 but in all seriousness, Astarion's character arc is very important to me in a variety of ways and has been a very cathartic to experience as someone who was lucky enough to escape an abusive relationship in my past.

Favorite class to play: I love bards because of the versatility! But on my next run I'm going to do a druid 🍃

Favorite NPC: This is soooo tough because I think there is so many amazing characters in this game, but I really like all the wild shit that Raphael AND Gortash have going on. There's a lot to dig into with both of those guys, they're so fucked lol

Favorite song off the soundtrack: ooooh this is so hard, there's so many good ones but I really love 'I Want To Live', both versions! Also props to Raphael's Final Act for obvious reasons.

Tell us a little about your Tav: Rin is my chaotic sword bard baby who isn't actually that great a being a bard and better instead with stabbing things (we love a relatable queen?). She's a little flippant, a little silly, sometimes clever, and lives in my head rent free.

Something you wish was in the game: I am echoing many other people when I say that I wish there was more content for Wyll. I think it's such a crime that he was deprived of a full character arc! I am also endlessly frustrated that he is not given an option to decide for himself (like Shadowheart was) regarding whether to break his pact with Mizora. I spent a full 30 minutes in debate with my husband over this choice in my first run and was so frustrated with this fact and honestly either decision feels like a raw deal.

Do you create fanworks? Share something with us: I do! I am currently busy writing Astarion/Tav and Astarion/Reader fanfiction. to eden is my current baby, and one I've poured a lot of time into and that I'm proud of. I'll also never stop being proud of my very first fic air so deep and sweet, as I really leapt off the ledge and dove headfirst into something I was so deeply insecure about but ended up paying off in the end and has literally changed my life in regards to how I now see myself 💖

no pressure tags: @elinorbard @ladyduellist and @xxnashiraxx if you want to join in, no worries if not 💞!

[lunarlagomorph]

Where should one start with higurshi/when they cry? It's got so many side stories and games that I'm not sure where to start with the series, is there a good core show/manga to go watch/read?

Where should one start with higurshi/when they cry? It's got so many side stories and games that I'm not sure where to start with the series, is there a good core show/manga to go watch/read?

Where should one start with higurshi/when they cry? It's got so many side stories and games that I'm not sure where to start with the series, is there a good core show/manga to go watch/read?

I typed up a long ass answer that tumblr ate. Sigh. Anyways you should start with the higurashi visual novel, chapters 1-8. They're on steam. If you arent a visual novel pwrson there is a manga and anime but from my understanding theyre very suboptimal ways to experience higurashi.

You should also use 07th-mod (07th-mod . com / home, sorry but tumblr wont let me put in the real link) to improve your experience, it adds in some things/options not included in the steam version. Stick to using the ryukishi/"potato" sprites (at least imo you should).

After higurashi is umineko, then ciconia (which isnt finished but please read it so that there are more than 10 fans). There are other works (like higanbana) but i wouldnt worry about them until after those 3 .

Also, a bit of a content warning is that theres sexualization of minors in multiple scenes. It doesnt take up so much space as to ruin the overall experience but its still a warranted warning. Theres also higurashi hou on steam but thats more of an extra story thing so dont worry abt it.

Hope this helps!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 112 & 113 (part 2)

I hate that this chapter is cut... mainly cuz it deals with the most “ horribly presented” theme in furuba anime.... grief.

-The shame of grieving: “ Rarely discussed theme in Literature”:

When a love one dies... ppl differ in how they deal with it. Some cry their hearts out, some become depressed & painfully lonely, others get angry or cynical, some might deny it, some move on quickly, others move on but years after the realization crushes them, others stay still... Above all, you feel ashamed of yourself if you didn’t move on or if you DID move on.. “ Sometimes ppl around you judge you for it... for your grief”

The later is the theme of these two chapters. Rarely discussed themes & it saddens me that it is cut. You see, Furuba anime doesn’t get grief  at all. To them, it’s a small part of the generic protagonist after she finishes her job of nurturing the real main protagonist. Mothers are strong, they help us cross the bridge between childhood & adulthood. Tohru, the show’s mom, did it so thoroughly & in slow visual & narrative details for yuki. Afterwards, the anime brushed whatever is left of her character, which the anime viewed as sheer suspenseful drama, & collected it thro 3rd person story-telling techniques in one ep “ se3, ep6″ & excessive monologue for 10 minutes in se3, ep9.

In this chapter, Kakeru, a side character, sheds light into this theme. Kakeru didn’t lose a parent by death, didn’t grieve, has no dependent familial bonds with either dead parents “ kyoko & komaki’s dad”. Yet, kakeru stood & judged tohru on how she “ should” grieve. Harshly tearing her down while she’s standing there lonely, trying to hide her shock at the loss of her only pillar in life, broken & traumatized, dealing with the pushed down traumatic feelings from her past where her mom abandoned her as a child..now her mom did it again, this time thro death.. & kakeru, rightfully not knowing all that, but wrongfully lecturing her on how to behave... kakeru isn’t a monster, but he only saw what he wanted: komaki & how the world should grieve with his lover, how he should be the hero protecting her. So self-centered, insensitive, horribly cruel & unbelievably conceited, but above all... what he did is so sadly common... it hurts.

-Judging Grieving People:

As I said many times.. grief is so personal, so unique to the person & as common as it is, so misunderstood. According to kakeru & many ppl I’ve sopken to lately, tohru should have acknowledged komaki. Komaki, the not-traumatized version of tohru, did the right “ tohru-like” thing. Not only felt sadness at the loss of her own dad, but found it in her heart to visit the other orphan, tohru, & give condolences & respect to the dead mother. Such kindness & purity. Very deserving of applaud: To not only see your pain but others’ as well. Tohru has always done the “ right, kind” thing to other ppl. When she can’t now, the author brought another “ tohru” to do the “ right, kind” thing.

Kakeru is so many ppl. During my brother’s funeral. I’ve heard so many gossip on how my mom should’ve stood tall & greeted the visitors.” Being silent , emotionless & non-responsive is not how you show visitors you value their kind words”, they said. How his widow should’ve collected herself & acted properly, respected his memory by taking proper care of herself & her kids. “Being a broken mess is not how you “ honor” loved one”, they said. Kakeru is indeed many ppl & that’s how you discuss a theme by creating characters who sin, screw up & be cruel, even if momentarily.

Kakeru is wrong. There is no “ you should have” in grief. There is no ounce of truth in his demeaning lecture to tohru & I respect komaki for her reaction to him so much. Kakeru did learn & grew from it, apologized to tohru even if he didn’t actually sought her to do so & even if she herself started the apology. But you see, these two chapters are 90% focused on kakeru as a character, his growth, thoughts, the mini focus on his relationship with komaki as an example of healthy relationship & all that is another lesson for yuki to observe & learn. He learned abt tohru’s past, kakeru’s personality & growth & got to observe another example of romantic relationship so yuki can grow as a man & approach machi healthily. But then again... nothing at all stops yuki/machi from being healthy, no past issues, no contradicting personalities “ they’re quite similar” & yuki is the only furuba character that doesn’t screw up big. He learns & teaches. He’s the personification of the author.

-Tohru.. stays a “ tohru”:

Tohru’s part is 10% of the this chapter which is fine as I think/hope it will lead into more tohru depth in the following chapters. But It is for this reason I’m glad this chapter was cut in the 13 eps season of furuba anime, cuz tohru doesnt have much depth in the anime due to the quick wrap up & the la~~~~st  thing I want is another 3rd person story-telling flashback abt tohru in the anime. Honestly, one of the most frustrating aspect to me of the anime & I’ll hold judgement abt manga- tohru till I reach its end. So far~~~ Tohru’s depth & character exploration gets better one chapter, then regress the next one, then moves on, the... it’s a fluctuating process. It has nothing to do with tohtu’s feelings.

you’ see ... kyo himself as a character with issues fluctuates a lot, he does sth good, then does sth bad, chooses right words, then makes a horrible mistake & chooses wrong! which is one of the most well-done aspects of character exploration that is rarely attempted by authors! I highly respect Takaya-san for what she’s doing with kyo in the manga so far. Other authors show us a character doing one big mistake & then he/she learns from it in a dramatic way. But Takaya-san, nope! she decided to approach it in a very human way, making us be frustrated with kyo’s repeated mistakes yet understands where he’s coming from! kudos to her!!

But I’m not yet satisfied with how tohru is portrayed in the manga & this has nothing to do with tohru’s character. Takaya-san is discussing rare themes thro tohru’s character. But what I mean is how tohru is approached thro the viewers/readers eyes. I wont judge until the last chapter. but this is the part that is frustrating to me.

Side Notes:

The flow of the 2 chapters is little off. We go back & forth between the past & the present, between yuki-machi & komaki-kakeru. Again, I’m so glad the anime cut it cuz, nope! they can’t handle such narrative. they’ll reorder it in a such heavily monologing way & insert the comedy abruptly to lighten the mood. Just look at how the comedy is inserted in momiji’s se03 ep!

Komaki is such a tohru with a sprinkle of kagura’s very softened outbursts. lol. she’s fun!

I’m liking yuki-machi interactions a lot. no drama, which is why the anime cut it -_-’, but it progresses healthily. Machi is yuki’s third-stage growth after (1) leaving tohru’s nest (baby yuki), (b) making friends with kakeru/someone who gets him (young boy yuki), (3) finding romantic love (being a man). The anime was so interested in the 2 stages above cuz that’s where the drama is & cut the third. Honestly, the anime didn’t have to include everything as there is never a space in 13 eps, but they certainly could’ve squeezed few panels or even made brand new very short yuki-machi scenes. but the anime weirdly decided after yuki “ saved” machi from her trauma by talking with her in her apartment, he should just marry her.... lol.. that’s why next scene is ep 5 momiji’s ep intro montage where yuki was abt to confess!!! making yuki-machi the least developed couple in the anime!

I love all furuba’s characters, but yuki, tohru, kyo & akito carry the big themes, therefore, I not only analyze their characters, but how the themes are presented thro them & how their presentation affects such themes. This might make it sound as I hate them or am harsh on them. not at all. It is the anime director/ manga author that I’m positively or negatively criticizing most times. Most importantly, my criticism is not the law. It’s just my perspective & my consumption of the material. Feel free to differ with me. I dont mind it. It brings interesting discussions!

When it comes to tohru’s issues... his chapter introduced nothing new. We have seen/read in canon repeatedly that tohru hides her pain behind a smile (heck! even kisa knows that & told us), that she cant stand up for herself much, that she smiles for other ppl not for herself. All this was presented thro so many characters already, which is why I understand the anime’s decision to cut it. What’s new? that yuki didn know tohru’s smile is mostly a mask & that kakleru has depth.

I love this chapter for the grieving themes it discussed that are rarely touched upon in literature, but since such themes are rarely presented, the anime’s decision to cut it, ironically proves my point! lol . They don’t get grief & so, they reduced it to se03 content & two eps worth. sad.. but expected. The anime is indeed another form of “past” kakeru: seeing one side of grieving person. The happy side.

[prettyvampiress96]

The Malfoy Secret

Chapter 1

Sat in her defence against the dark arts class, Anastasia sat at her desk with her head down, her long black hair falling from its place over her shoulder and her feather quill elegantly scrolling notes across the parchment in front of her under the watchful eyes of Professor Lupin. Anastasia was in her seventh and final year at Hogwarts so studying for the N.E.W.T.S were strictly underway. As Head Girl , Anna's free time was extremely limited even the she spent it mentoring some of the younger members of her house. Professor Lupin was currently recapping over a subject they had covered at the beginning of the year when a knock echoed throughout the large room.

" Forgive me for interrupting your lesson Remus but might I borrow Miss Rosier . There's a situation that requires her immediate assistance" Professor McGonagall asked her eyes locking directly to Anastasia's. When Remus nods his head granting Anastasia permission to leave the class. "Miss Rosier you'll want to collect your things class will no doubt have long finished by the time you'll return" McGonagall spoke up once again. Anastasia nodded slightly confused and with a flick of her wand , her belongings were packed and in her possession. " Professor McGonagall ma'am with all due respect may I know what the situation is that requires me to be pulled from my class" Anna questioned the head of Gryffindor house. " It would appear Miss Rosier that a child of whom you are mentoring and as of whom you are known to be close too has been injured by a hippogriff, the extent of the injury I myself am unaware now if you could Madame Pomfrey shall be waiting for you in the infirmary wing. I have to alert Draco's parents" The transfiguration teacher informed . As Anna heard Draco's name she immediately began sprinting to the infirmary wing , the blonde haired boy was indeed close to her . Anastasia burst through the infirmary doors catching sight of Draco in the bed surrounded by other Slytherin's. The Slytherins and the Slytherin head girl stood at Draco's bedside whilst his arm was mended. Anastasia knew this was a lucky escape for Draco , she had no doubt that the Gryffindor trio were in some way involved. They always were. Draco had to stay for observation for a few hours so his friends dispersed to lunch, Anna stayed getting the run down from Draco on what had happened. Anastasia had stood with her back to the large infirmary doors so the pair had yet to notice the set of parents in the doorway observing. " Draco what do I tell you time and time again , if you want to go at war with the Gryffindor's then be smart about it . A snake lies low before it strikes and therefore its prey is unaware and then dead. Take myself for example do you see me all out duelling in the courtyard? no you don't . Even after that Weasley insulted my family I planned ahead and I struck him when he least expected it and I've yet to see Percy on my rounds since. The moral is be smart Draco and don't lose us anymore points or you may find yourself duelling me little Malfoy" Anna joked patting Draco's good shoulder both of them laughing together until the pair heard chuckling behind them. Anastasia eyed the two adults lurking in the doorway , she didnt have to ask who they were to know that these were Draco's parents. After all her family had mentioned the Malfoy family countless of times, although she hadn't expected them to look so breath-taking. The woman hurried at great speed to Draco's bedside Lucius standing right beside her. " Draco my poor baby don't you worry that animal and that sad excuse of a teacher wont be on the grounds once your father is finished with them. Nothing hurts our baby" Narcissa cooed failing to notice the blush spreading across Draco's face. Anastasia giggled at Draco's embarrassment. " Sorry to interrupt Draco but now youre family are here I see you're in good hands so I shall leave you be, but take this" handing Draco a book for transfigurations " I know its not your strongest topic but itll do for now considering your not in class and I'll help with your homework after alright. We need to keep those grades up after all" she offered. Anastasia managed to move two steps before a figure blocked her way. Looking up she found herself looking into the ice blue eyes of Lucius Malfoy himself. " Do forgive me but who exactly are you we know Draco's friends and your face isnt one we are likely to forget is it darling?" The tall blonde questioned his wife. She moved to his side humming in thought. " No Darling I do believe we havent met her I am sure of it" Narcissa assured her husband both of their eyes coming to glance at Anna. " My name is Anastasia Esmeralda Rosier and I am Slytherin Head Girl and Draco's mentor

courtesy of Professor Snape sir " Anastasia spoke clear not allowing the pair to see how intimidated they made her. When Anastasia glanced back towards Draco , he simply shrugged during their interaction. The pair both missed the looks that the elder Malfoys shared with one another.

Draco was released from the infirmary wing in time for dinner that evening and as promised Anna assisted him in anything he didnt quite understand while at the same time revising over all of her N.E.W.T.S that she was set to take in a mere few days. Just over a week later N.E.W.T.S had finished and all students were packing up the dorms ready to spend summer break at home. Many of those students already excited for the next year. Draco Malfoy was one specific student who indeed was not looking forward to returning knowing that Anastasia would now not be returning. Her final year now complete. Anastasia was a nervous wreck now that the time had finally come , the fact that she wouldn't be a student at Hogwarts next year really had begun to sink in . There were plenty of careers she had in her mind . She had already been accepted to work within the Ministry of Magic.. Working was something that also had young Anastasia scared. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't worried, after all her last name is the name of her father therefore would others think she was destined for the same fate despite never stepping a foot out of line. As Anna settled herself into the comfort of her train compartment , she curled up on the plush fabric of the seat and leaned her head against the window , closing her eyes she was thankful for the chance of an empty carriage it happened on rare occasions. Moments later that silence was disturbed by a white headed third year. Ana had half expected Draco's cavalry to file in right behind him but it was just him. The pair just looked out the window unsure of what to say to each other. The train began to slow to a stop signalling they were at kings cross this was it . This was their goodbye. People from all houses began filing out onto the platform 9 and 3/4 .

The white mane of the elusive Lucius Malfoy could be spotted miles away. Anastasia's Aunt had come to meet her despite her not feeling herself. This was her younger brothers only child and the child she raised and treated as her own. Merlin himself wouldn't stop her from missing this. With her luggage in tow Ana had spotted her aunt Amalthea Rosier or aunt Thea as Anna called her and headed directly for her . Anna embraced her Aunt in a large hug. "Auntie you didnt have to meet me here , you should be at home resting, I could have apparated home, but thank you " Anna thanked her aunt tearfully appreciating the effort she had gone through to be there. Thea didn't have a chance to respond as a pair of arms enclosed around her nieces waist, holding her from behind. Anna looked down and turned to see who the culprit was . Staring into the greyish blue eyes of Draco. "I'll miss you Annie. Promise me you'll visit me before I go back to school and we have to stay in touch that's not negotiable I'm afraid and I'm a Malfoy I get what I want" Draco smirked at Anna. " Oh Draco I don't know I was looking forward to no more potter drama or Draco theatrics" she joked back smiling at the boy . Draco looked a tad offended. "Of course I'll keep in touch but let's at least get home first " she laughed , patting Draco on his shoulder . Bowing her head to Draco's parents in a sign of respect. Both families apparated to their respected homes.

[istherewifiinhell]

#nothing to do no gay people on my phone. did read 29 chapters of orv tho

well. here we are..... 1 calendar year later. 551 chapters later... and. tangent: dang did i really pulverize my phone on some conk crete so close to my bday? well. funny little causes for everything isnt it....

for real tho..... for. a story about how stories help you survive.... im here at work were i started it. to get through the day. and. its been a real fucking treat the whole time....

Extremely scattershot and fledgling ending stuff thoughts [spoiles][oh and also. content. warning of. orv adfhbdaf]

a narrative about. grief. and suicide. and. how we cope. and heal. or dont. in? my min max any% speedrun isekai novel???

holding astronaut yjh by the scruff of the neck. HEY I FOUND HIM. I FOUND THE ORV ASTRONAUT (breaks down about it)

I think. around. kaizenxi i noticed the. allusions to suicide were um. getting increasingly LESS subtle... and. i mean at some point right. the story becomes less about kdj and more. how his family misses him. the entire jttw arc. even. and. its the reveal the closer they get to the goal. the less he. knows what to do with himself.

well and. the way the scope just increases right. if there is a down trodden lost soul in this world. may we dedicate a sentence to them, remember that they are a being and do not deserve their fate. (nameless ones/yoegos esp)

and. the way. right until the very last stuff. no one stays dead. which isnt the same as being unchanged by death. by people being hurt by it. but people come back. (by my regconning 1864 hades and bihyung are the only. MAIN??? character. ally types. to die?? and stay dead.) and it really seemed like kdj might be the next one. FOR A GOOD MINUTE THERE. but hey. hey. maybe a story were. they miracoulous. unfathamable. survive... is the point......

just like. seemingly mavelent forces. the orgin of ss, the author, the outer gods, even 4th wall. just a bunch of ppl trying to surivive. or trying not to loose someone. or lose themselves. etcetc. like.

1863 hsy writting the apocalyse into existence to save 1 person. enduring YEARS of being exhausted and scrambling in the small hours of the night. that dk becoming 4th wall... [dont know where else to put this even but the random webnovel author they get to be one of the orv... publishers... i guess. was also. maybe gonna kill himself. so thats another person saved. just. fyi]

the 999s. EVERYTHING abt them. (kdjs favourite turn did you know that was HIS FAV turn its his favourite.) that kdj could confront kwn cause he know how little he thought of HIMSELF. well hey. flag that huh. cause when they see the poor kid that 'caused' their predictament. well they saw the small kid no one looked out for (well 2 people looked out for didnt they). and all kdjc realises just how bad it was. and all kdj can see is the enemy. gee well i hope kdj having those LITERAL self destructive tendacies wont come up again after the 999s become kid dokja new pta ass parents.

a story that. basically end up saying. hey. you are ONTOLOGICALLY. kinda sorta a least a PART of the main character. (hey no wonder theres such a high percent of kin dokjas.....) where you DREAMING of that world. of those characters. imagining that kinder ending, that unfinished story. thats helps that WORLD survive. that helps that CHARACTER live. for real i did "force"/engineer the circustances that i would be finishing it. AND DOING ALL THIS. at work. well fuck +A proof of concept. stories. we all need em. oh god do we need em. like fucking hell do i need em.

(weakly, like a victorian child with every old timey disease) im back from work what did miss

[novacomette]

You can also read it on Fanfiction Press or AO3

Check the Masterlist

Your everyday Ballet Dancer and your every night Break Dancer, Gwyn and Azriel cross paths by performing competitive dancing rounds on the rooftops. After an incident, involving Azriel to be forced to be Gwyn's dance partner until then. Working together, they combine their dancing skills in order to make their best performance for the audience.

Previous: Chapter 1

Next: Chapter 3 (WIP)

Chapter 2: New Mission Gwyn

Gwyn hasn't slept… She hasn't been able to sleep after that horrible nightmare, where one moment it was her and her twin sister dancing and singing together.. The next she was drowning in her sister’s blood, clawing and kicking to get a gasp of air. She had awoken in a cold sweat and was debating whether to either skip the dance classes or to attend with a hell of a bad mood. The first option was appealing but she didn want to get a shitty earful from Merrill through the phone, so she hopped out of bed and strolled to the bathroom. She suddenly remembered the events of last night and the guy that was willing to dance and even compete with her. Gwyn smiled at the thought and felt a little bit better.

After a good shower, she prepared herself for the day. As she went to the kitchen to at least eat some oatmeal she heard the desk phone ringing for like four times before being sent to voicemail. Oh no. ‘Hello, this is you-know-who. I’m in you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when after the beep.’ Then a long beep was heard. Gwyn still can't get over the fact that she recorded that as a joke when she and Nesta were drunk at the time. “My God!” Speak of the devil. “I still can't believe you haven't changed that! Tsk, nevermind. Gotta break it to you quickly before I head back to work. There’s a 11-54 going around near your area with a possible 207A or a 217…” 11-54… That means that there's a suspicious vehicle going around. A 207A is for Kidnapping Attempt and 217 is for Assault with Murderous Intentions. Gwyn gulped but was feeling grateful that her best friend was a cop. One of the best. “... Just so you can keep an eye out and stay away from the streets.” And with that, the message ended.

Gwyn nodded more to herself and resumed to make herself some breakfast. She made a mental note to call Nesta back when she was done, which would probably be whenever Merrill left the building. So once she’d finished, she grabbed her bag and closed the door behind her, walking the two blocks instead of calling a cab despite the recent warning. The streets haven’t dried out entirely yet from last night’s rain and the smell of . She didn't quite trust getting in a car since she dealt with that kind of kidnapping before. She pulled her phone from her bag and dialed a number, which was picked up on the second ring. “For once, I'm asking you to change your voicemail greeting..” Nesta grumbled, making Gwyn huff a laugh.

“Nes, yours is even worse.” She could hear her friend holding in a laugh.

“No it's not.”

“If I recall correctly..” Gwyn could picture the expression of shock on Nesta’s face from the other side of the line. “It goes like.. ‘You’ve reached Nesta Fucking Archeron. If it's you you-know-who, got fuck yourself because I wont pick up. If it's NOT you then leave a message’ and then a long pause before you start screaming like from the living room or somewhere saying ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING HANGING THERE!? GET YOUR ASS UP AND DO SOMETHING!!’ beeeeeep.” She heard her laughing hard from the other side and couldn't help but laugh as well. “That's far worse than mine!”

“Ok ok, you win.” Nesta was still laughing. “Anyway, I know you probably heard the voicemail but-”

“Keep an eye out for something suspicious, I know.” She stopped and waited for her light to turn green. “My friend is a K-9 if I do say so myself.” Another laugh before she added. “Hey um.. don't get any ideas but.. Last night I met this guy-”

“Is he hot like from Sellyn Drake’s-”

“Nesta!” Gwyn flushed red. Knowing her friend, both of them along with Emerie enjoyed reading any romantic and smutty book they could get their hands on. Last Friday, Nesta had showed up with what could be one of the strongest books of Sellyn Drake’s collection and Gwyn had almost become a red mess. She shook her head viciously to get herself together. “Ahem! We met on the rooftops from across the street.”

“When you were up dancing? Did he see you the whole time?” Gwyn could hear a bit of curiosity in her voice.

“I think we didn't notice each other for a while after we did and none of us made an attempt to leave apparently.” Gwyn remembered how he bowed in return, willing to stay. She heard Nesta hum. “What?”

“You danced for him?” Gwyn could have sworn she was teasing if it wasn't for that slight seriousness of her voice.

“No actually. We actually did a dance battle, and I never saw anyone dance like that..” The swift movements, steady poses and breathing, incredible body strength. It almost made her turn red then and there.

“Like what? Gwyn, remember that I can't see memories telepathically.” Nesta said, snapping her out of her thoughts and preventing her from delving deeper as she crossed the street once her light went green.

“Well… I don't know, it was almost like it was a gymnastics practice thing but his moves were swift, he spun his whole body around while standing on his hands.” Gwyn tried hard to explain to her friend and was completely helpless.

“You mean Breakdancing?” Nesta asked, less serious now. Gwyn, on the other hand, was oblivious. Before she could ask, Nesta replied. “It's also called breaking or B-boying, Most. It’s an energetic form of dance, fashioned and popularized by African Americans and Latinos, that includes stylized footwork and athletic moves such as back spins or head spins.” She explained. Gwyn thought how people can possibly head spin. “It's one of a few categories of an umbrella term called Street Dancing. The place you work at probably doesn't teach you that because they focus more on ballet and singing, it would be nice to add something new for once. Back to the guy subject, what happened next?” She could hear her friend drinking something and Gwyn finally replied.

“Well… I asked him if we could meet on the rooftops again tonight and he agreed-” Se heard her spit harshly whatever she was drinking as she was trying so hard not to laugh.

“How!?”

“I don't know if you can call it a clumsy attempt of corporal language?” Gwyn winced and stopped again before a crosswalk. “I think he understood.”

“Ok…” A long pause. “Just be carefull with him, ok? I don't know him yet so I can't trust this guy.” Her tone was sharp.

Gwyn nodded more to herself and said. “It's understandable. If he does something to make me feel uncomfortable, I’ll use what I've learned with Cass in that self-defense class.” She smiled and resumed walking again. She kept talking to Nesta until she was close to the building. “Well, I'm here. I'll call you later?”

“Sure. Tell Merrill to fuck off for me.” Nesta said, making Gwyn grimace and chuckle at the same time. “I’ll see ya later. Bye.”

“Bye-Bye.” Gwyn smiled and hung up. She checked her wrist watch. “8:23am?” The building is supposed to be open at 9:30am. She glanced at the theater before locking eyes at the building where she had seen him last night. “Maybe if I ask his name? But I don't know what floor he's on.” She started debating, glancing back and forth. “I should head inside and get things settled for practice..” She took a step, but then whirled back to face the apartment building. “But then communicating would be harder tonight…” Gwyn kept debating for over a minute before clicking her tongue in annoyance. “Fuck it all, I’ll use the emergency ladder.” She began to cross the street as quickly as possible and snuck behind the building, spotting the black emergency ladder. “Crap, it's high…” She mumbled and thought for a moment before pulling a pen and a piece of paper from her back and began to write down her phone number. She then proceeded to hide her bag under an empty box and took enough distance to run and leap, barely managing to get a grip.

Inside the building, Azriel had just finished taking his morning shower and now heading to the kitchen. He was tired, he barely got 2 hours of sleep before his alarm clock went off. While making a simple sandwich for himself, he glanced at the calendar with a red circle on day 23 of May and with words written under the number. ‘Summer Street Dance Competition.’ Only less than sixteen days away and Azriel was regretting it. He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a grunt from outside his window. “If it’s an attempt to break in… Whoever it is, is making a horrible effort..” He walked to the kitchen window and saw a glimpse of copper. Opening the window he leaned to get a better view before realizing who was climbing up the emergency ladder. Azriel cleared his voice to catch her attention. “And may I know what you’re doing?” He asked. She shuddered at his voice and looked up at him, eyes locking. It was her… The girl from last night and... Teal… Her eyes were teal, he realized.

“Um…” Gwyn stumbled a little on the steps and held on into one of them. “I-It’s not what you think.” She said.

“Well come inside, this ladder is old and rusty as hell.” Azriel said. Gwyn nodded and took about six steps before one broke under her foot. He quickly shot his hand and grabbed her arm, pulling her inside his apartment before she could fall. Unfortunately, both tripped and fell onto the floor, with her trembling from the fright, yet she stood up and took a step back out of respect. Azriel did the same, keeping himself at a safe distance. “Are you ok?” He asked, concern in his voice. She swiftly nodded. ”You didn't get hurt?”

“J-Just shaken.” Gwyn said then added. “That was a bad idea.” She seemed to be trying not to look around.

Azriel stood silent for a moment before asking. “What were you doing climbing up the emergency ladder?”

Gwyn shot her eyes at him and blushed. Azriel noticed another feature he didn't see last night, her skin was covered in freckles. He swore he could draw imaginary constellations but that stood out of the question as she blurted her response. “I-I was trying to get to the roof to leave you a note. Clearly, I wasn't sure how to talk to you tonight..” She began rambling.

Azriel tried and failed to contain a heavy laugh. Gwyn shuddered again, his laugh was captivating and she didn't know why. Get a hold of yourself, she thought. “I'm sorry..” He finally said, his laughter now a low chuckle. “I didn't mean to be disrespectful.”

Gwyn shook her head while a smile formed on her lips. “It’s alright. It almost felt like I was in one of those Mission Impossible movies.” She made a pose as if holding a gun. “Or like Lara Croft!”

“Usually it does not involve a rusty emergency ladder with half a century.” Azriel leaned on the counter with his arms crossed. Gwyn took a while to realize that he was shirtless and noticed his tattoos. The black swirls creeping up from his elbows, over his shoulders and over his pectorals. She resembled the swirls and patterns as if those were some kind of shadows. Gwyn snapped out of it when she heard his voice clear again and she realized that she was staring at his chest. “My eyes are up here, ya perve.” He said, his tone slightly teasing.

Gwyn yelped as she flushed red in embarrassment. “I wasn't staring at your chest!” She said but he arched a brow, she blushed harder and Azriel could see her freckles vanish from her red face. “I was just looking at your tattoos! I-It’s an interesting pattern..” She looked away to prevent her embarrassment from growing larger.

Azriel’s felt awkward and looked away himself. He then said. “Well… I appreciate the compliment…” Too awkward. “I should lead you back to the theater, you’re gonna be late.”

“Shit!” Gwyn gasped and ran to the door but she quickly closed it. “Not an exit!” Azriel almost snickered before putting on a black shirt before grabbing his sandwich. Gwyn noticed his hands were partly gloved, specifically his palms but quickly looked away as she handed him the note. “I wanted to give you this..” He looked at it with confusion but accepted it, she caught a glimpse of scarring on his fingers but said nothing. Instead she added. “The idea was to give you my phone number so that we could speak without looking ridiculous.”

Azriel stiffened but nodded. “Ok…” He said singly before opening the door out. “And the exit is here, my closet is not.” He said with sarcasm. Gwyn scoffed and walked out as he followed suit, closing the door behind him. They took the elevator as silence filled the small space. She then broke it.

“My name is Gwyn by the way. Gwyneth Berdara.” She said. Azriel looked at her in surprise. “Just so you know.” She bit her lips.

Azriel didn't say anything for a moment, weighing if he should tell her or not. At the end, he replied. “Azriel.” He said and could have sworn he saw a small smile forming on her lips. He kept her company from behind the building to get her bag out of the box to the theater. She went up the steps of the stairs but stopped mid way.

“Oh! By the way. Just in case, keep your eye out if you’re gonna walk around the streets. There's a suspicious vehicle roaming around so uh… be careful, ok?” Azriel was taken aback. When was the last time someone besides his brothers cared about his safety? She ran up the stairs again before stopping and whirling back at him again. “And your breakdancing is interesting! I have never heard or seen of it before.” Another surprise for Azriel. She then gave him her challenging smirk. “I’ll make sure to beat you tonight, and I may as well learn from you.”

This made Azriel smirk himself and crossed his arms. “Likewise, Little Dove.” He saw her cheeks redden. He repeated. “Likewise.”

“You’ve made a mistake.. Shadowsinger.” She said lastly, a smirk still plastered on her face, and headed inside. Azriel shuddered at that. How she figured out his artistic name, he didn't know. But despite the challenge, he smirked at her stubbornness before walking away from the theater. God, he couldn't wait for night to fall.

Inside, Gwyn was trying so hard to not smile. When she started walking to the lockers, her phones began to buzz and she quickly picked it up. "Hello?" His voice was heard.

"Just making sure the number was real." And with that, she cracked a smile that went from ear to ear.

[validity-is-powerful]

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known - chap. 1

Hello friends. I already posted chapter 1 weeks ago, but I've finally gotten around to making a post about it.

Written with permission off this post by @sapphicdeath (my main is @strung-by-fate).

[Masterlist]

—

Summary: A day in the office. Nighttime sets the stage.

Warnings: none

Pairing: Hotch/Rossi

Words: 1.9k

Read below the cut, or on ao3.

__

The office was never empty, not even early in the morning as Hotch arrived. Already there were other employees there, setting up for their days or ending their nighttime shifts. He made his way to his office, nodding a greeting to those he passed.

He set up his desk, arranging the papers he would need to go through according to importance, as he frequently did. Occasionally, there would be a file he would go through first that wasn't overly important, but he would still go through first for other reasons.

It was easy to sink into the headspace he needed for the motions of reading each document and filling out what needed to be. A glance at the clock showed him it was eight. The team would likely be some time still.

Half an hour later, he looked up to see most of his team spilling into the bullpen, talking and laughing together. JJ was absent, but then, she had spoken yesterday of her son's fever and how she and Will were worried. He would give her until nine, then call. 

Hotch watched in silence as they settled into their desks, getting ready for the day without ever truly ending their conversation, save for Rossi, who found his way to his own office. It always felt distant, viewing them from behind the glass as he was now. He was part of the team, but there were times he wondered if he was truly part of it in anything but name. Mornings were some of those times, more often than not.

A knock on his door stirred him from his reverie.

"Come in."

"Hey, Hotch," Morgan said, opening the door. "Saying good morning."

"Good morning." 

"You looked a bit lonely up here this morning. Anything you want to talk about?" 

"I've been thinking," Hotch said. Morgan made a disbelieving but amused sound.

"Alright, man. But if you do ever want to talk, I'm always here."

"I know. Thank you." Morgan shut the door and walked off. Hotch returned to the work in front of him.

*

"You know, we don't actually know how many-" Reid began, only to be cut off by Prentiss.

"JJ, there you are. Everything alright? You're usually as early as Hotch." The other agent was rarely late, and yet it was almost nine. Hotch had been in the office for likely more than an hour, from what the others knew of his schedule.

"Yeah, everything's fine," JJ said, waving away her friend's concerns. "Henry has a fever, Will's watching him. I left a bit late because of that and hit traffic."

"Henry okay?" Reid chimed in from his desk.

"He will be," JJ assured the group. "He's warm but not dangerously so. We're just worried over how frequently he gets sick."

"That's not uncommon," Reid said. "The average child Henry's age tends to get several fevers a year, not to mention seven or eight colds. So I really wouldn't worry about it unless it's rather severe." He tapped his pen against his fingers, as he was wont to do. JJ nodded, a bit off-kilter

"Thanks, Reid."

*

"Prentiss." Her name being called grabbed her attention away from the report she was filling out as Morgan and Reid bickered behind her, and she turned. Hotch stood outside his office, waiting for her to turn. "I need to speak with you."

It wasn't only her attention that he had. Reid and Morgan were watching intently as well. She rose and made her way over, frowning.

"Something going on?" Hotch opened his door for her in answer. She entered, and he shut it behind them.

"You're not in trouble," he said once he had taken a seat at his desk and she was sitting in the chair across from him. "It's just some routine training. Seven months is a long time to be gone from the team. The Bureau needs to know you're still sharp."

"What do they need from me this time?" The retraining and assessments had been continuous since she had returned to the Unit. Hotch slid a form and a pen towards her.

"For you to fill that out, then report to the mats tomorrow. Morgan and I can cover your paperwork." She nodded.

"You can return to your desk. And, Emily. It's nice to have you back." She stood and moved to the door, then paused with one hand on it.

"Hotch?" He looked up questioningly. Prentiss smiled. "Thanks." She got a small smile in return.

*

Lunch was a remarkably quiet affair. Even Hotch deigned to join them, which was unusual in itself. 

"Is anyone doing something interesting this weekend?" Garcia asked.

"A friend and I have plans to go strawberry picking up in Pennsylvania,” Prentiss offered, which gained some approving nods around the table.

“Let’s hope nothing comes up, then.”

“You know, the garden strawberry is originally from Brittany, France, and is a cross of two other breeds, one from eastern North America and the other from Chile. It replaced the woodland strawberry, which had been around since the early 17th century,” was Reid’s contribution.

The talk after that shifted to work, and what had come up in reports. Some members were more vocal than others. Hotch was frequently observant but largely silent when there wasn’t a case, staying in his office and working alone. Rossi preferred to observe as well, but tended to be more active in the conversation.

*

Towards the end of the day, Hotch knocked on JJ’s door.

“Come in,” was the call he was greeted with. She looked up in surprise as he entered, hands pausing on the file she was looking over. “Hey, Hotch. There’s nothing demanding we fly out, though there are a couple of cases that we should offer a consultation on.” He made a small, dismissive gesture.

“I’m not here to discuss cases yet. I trust your judgement.” She smiled.

“Um, thanks. Why are you here, then?”

“Checking on you. You’ve seemed distraught today.” JJ gave him a tight smile.

“It’s nothing, really. It’s this job. It’s my son being sick. I’m fine, Hotch.”

“JJ, if you want to talk, I’m here. And if you need to take some time off, no one’s going to think less of you.”

“I know that.”

“But?”

“But I can’t bear to.” She sighed, quietly. “I can’t step away from this desk and these files, knowing that if I take even a day off, they’re going to pile up and by the time I get through, there’s going to be more bodies. They aren’t my fault, and I know that, but some days it weighs on me more heavily than others.”

She looked up, studying his face. “I can do this job.”

“I know.”

“I just have bad days.”

“Look at me.” JJ lifted her eyes, meeting his own. Hotch continued softly. “You go through files detailing some of the worst acts human beings have committed every day. You have to choose who we try to catch, knowing that the others that you don’t pick are going to keep on killing. Of course this job weighs on you. I want you to know that you have my respect. You’ve always had it. If you need anything, I’m here for you.”

She smiled, teary-eyed.

“Thank you, Hotch.” She slid him a file. He took it.

“The evil in the world is not your fault,” he reminded her as he opened the door to leave.

“Nor is it yours,” she said.

*

It was unusual for any of them to, towards the end of the day, find themselves with a light enough load of work to begin thinking about heading home. It was unfortunately common amongst members of the team to stay far later than was healthy in order to finish filling out some form or report, or to finish reading through a file.

The time was approaching eight by the time Rossi wrapped up the final file he was reviewing. He shook out his wrist, stood, and began packing up.

Then, as was custom on the nights it was just the two of them left, he made his way to Hotch’s office.

Hotch looked up as he entered. “Budget reports,” he said in answer to the questioning look. “HR wants to make another cut and Strauss has me looking over the proposal in case they go through with it.” Rossi dropped into one of the chairs opposite Hotch’s desk.

“What’s it look like for the team?”

“There’s no threat of downsizing this time.” Hotch made another mark and kept reading.

“Well, that’s good, at least.”

Rossi watched in silence as his friend continued to make his way through the report, his usual frown etched on his face even now, in the quiet stillness when it was just the two of them.

Hotch set the file aside some ten minutes later. He took his things as well, then Rossi opened the door for them both and they headed out.

The elevator ride and the walk to the main entrance passed in a blur, and before long, the two of them had reached the parking lot and their cars. They had parked beside each other, something that had started out being convenience (they tended to leave late, and together), and had turned into a habit both were unwilling to break.

“I’ll see you tonight?” Rossi asked as they stood face to face, closer than was perhaps appropriate for two colleagues. Hotch’s hand found his waist.

“Tonight,” he agreed. “An hour from now, my place?”

“Works for me,” Rossi told him. The kiss they shared was brief and chaste. Nothing else was safe, and even that much was too much for a place like the parking lot of Quantico.

*

An hour later, Hotch had seen Jack safely to bed and now opened the door to admit his partner. Rossi entered, and they found their way to the kitchen, trading soft words and sure hands, at ease with each other.

Their relationship was far from new, after all. They had been working with each other for a little over two decades and had been friendly throughout. Their romantic involvement was shorter, but still had several years on it. 

Hotch took Rossi’s free hand as they drank, and Rossi could feel the cold of the ring Hotch wore against his skin. They both wore the rings signifying their relationship, though what exactly the rings signified he couldn’t say.

“I’ve been wondering,” Hotch said into the quiet. They had never dared to go further than what they had. A serious relationship between two employees, especially two senior employees, was enough risk as it was. Marriage was out of the question for more than one reason. Anything more than friendship was already putting the team at risk. If one of them was injured or killed on a case, the other would be more vulnerable than was safe with their job. Relationships were a risk, always had been. Unfortunately for them and countless others, their hearts had never cared.

“We have plans to not go further until we’re retired.” Hotch paused, turning the words over in his mind and finding the right ones. “But if we could safely, Dave, would you marry me?”

“Yes,” was the answer that fell from Rossi’s lips, before he sealed them over Hotch’s again. He tasted desperation and the wine they had drunk. The glasses found their way onto the counter as he wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him close as Hotch did the same.

[allforbtsu]

Save My Seoul From Comfort | Chapter 1

Ot7 X Reader (eventually)

Summary: With nothing else left from your aunt but debt, you have no other choice but to start working as a prostitude. After all this time of loneliness, you may have found seven boys in the same situation as you who are set on changing all your lives.

Warning: This series might be distressing to some readers as it includes indirect description of sex trafficking and rape. I do not condone any scene that violates Human Rights, this is purely fiction and used to set light on an international issues.

Word Count: 2.8k

Genre: non-idol au, smut, fluff

Prologue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The streets were full of life, people wandering everywhere, entering cafes, bars, and restaurants. It was a warm night, the air smelled of summer and fast food, and as you walked ahead the amount of lights that emanated from the stores gave you a sense of comfort. Contradicting the feeling that you had, feeling as if you had no other choice  tightened your chest, the feeling of no escape, nowhere to run. 

The store you were looking for could be seen from blocks away, luminescent, as if it metaphorically wanted to attract the flies to the fire. And there you were, walking through its doorstep with no other choice, with the necessity to comply with your needs.

Inside it was the complete opposite, the light provided barely allowed you to see the faces of the people, as if it wanted to hide away what was going on in the shadows. Clutching your belongings in one hand and the other tightly hidden in your jacket, you walked straight to the reception of the bar. Your aunt had given you clear instructions on what to do, walk to the reception, tell them your situation, and then they will see what they do with you from there. 

“Hello,” You say awkwardly

The desk was sticky and had every kind of substance stuck into it, there were even some pieces of food on top of it that seemed to have seen better days. Behind it, two young people came and went, a girl and a boy. They took the customers orders and handed them out all at the same time, and in their hurry of keeping up they did not see you there.

“Umm...Hi!,” Your voice went a little bit higher,  the girl looked your way, “Oh, I just wanted…” 

Pressing her hand up in a waiting motion she shut you up. Puffing you sat down in one of the chairs, your backpack pressed to yourself in a comforting manner. Waiting for one of the waiters to help you, you observed the place. Even though it was as dark as it could be, you could see some different scenes going on. 

Some tables were filled with boys not that much older than you, drinking and hollering between each other. Pretty sure their intentions after their meal, go to the back of the building and rent the cheapest girl back there and enjoy her for the night. Some other tables were filled with lonely older men who already had their companions for the night, caressing them and whispering in their ear.

You didn't know how to feel about the situation. You didn't have anywhere to go, no one to go to. Your aunt left a huge debt after her death and now that she's gone, you are the one by default to try and pay it out. Debt caused by the same establishment that you had walked in tonight. Housing debt and prepayment left you with what you have today, a debt that will just keep on growing and won't allow you to do anything else with your life. And you knew that, yet here you were, cause where else to go, what else to do. You didn't have a former education, not more than elementary school at least. It's this or nothing. It's also all that you know, what else would you be good at.

And as you stared uninterestedly to your surroundings a boy's voice brings you back.

“What do you need?” He asked right beside you.

The boy had slick black hair, his eyes were black, and had the fullest lips you had ever seen in your life. He was soft spoken, contradicting the atmosphere. His wide figure did not allow you to see behind him, nor others to see you, it was as if in a sense wanted to protect you from that place. You were more than thankful, for his wide shoulders didn't allow you to see the wandering stares from the people.

“My aunt sent me here, she said you could help” 

The boys stare changed to one of concern, knitting his eyebrows together. His posture was rigid as he stared you down.

“You're no older than eighteen at least”

“I know, but I heard it wasn't a concern here,” You looked at his face, and between his eyes flashed a sense of helplessness. He nodded. 

“Yes...Here, let me take you to the boss,” He let you stand up, “Allow me to take this for you,” He said referring to your backpack.

“Oh no, It's ok. It's not that heavy,” He nodded once again. 

As he turned around and allowed you to follow him, you began to realize that this was actually happening and there was no turning back. He led you through the bars back door, and to your surprise there was a backyard with a long trail leading to the door of another rusty boulding. The night seemed more dark without the luminescent lights of the avenue, it looked trapping. Your hand began shaking, and you noticed that it became a little bit hard to catch your breath. The boy seemed to notice this as he looked back at you three times before he said something.

“My name is Jin, yours?” He smiled warmly. 

You took a big breath before answering, the air getting stuck in your chest.

“y/n, nice to meet you,” You tried to smile, but a grimace came out.

“I know it is not my concern, but the aunt you told me about,” He began opening the door of the building for you, “Does she know you are here?,” He asked as you both entered,  and the first thing that you see is a pair of stairs, two hallways at each of your sides. You looked at him and shook your head timidly. He opened his mouth…

“She died a few day ago”

He closed it rapidly, his eyes widening.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…”

“No no, it's ok. I understand the concern, but I dont have nowhere else to go, and I need a job and a place to stay, and this is the only option that offers both.”

“I understand. I also have nowhere else to go. Here, this way,” He said turning right. “Upstairs are the dorms. As I was saying… I have also nowhere else to go. I have been here for a while actually, maybe a year or so.�� 

You nodded as he walked you through the long hallway. The sound of both of your steps resonated in the isolated place. 

“The boss accepts almost everyone that comes, so I guess you won't have a problem. So just know that i'm here if anything happens, ok? This is a rough industry. I won't shame you, I understand what led you here, so don't be afraid to come to me,” He halted.

“Are you also in the industry?”

“Yes and no. I mostly work at the bar, but I take any job the boss tells me to do. I have been rented to go to parties and act as if I was someone's partner, or even once to clean the house of a rich man in only boxers. There's some weird shit out there.”

“So you have never…? You know, had..?”

“Sex? To have sex in exchange of money? Yes, of course. No one escapes from that here. And get used to talking about it, it will take a little bit of the taboo off it. Oh, and here we are”

He said as he pointed behind where you two halted. It was a wood made door, as cheap as it could be, white as the rest of the walls. You stared at it for a few seconds, and turned back to look at Jin, who had a sad smile on his face.

“He's not the sweetest human or earth, nor the kindest, but is the only option you have. He wont do anything to you, I promise. He's just a little bit intimidating. I will be out here for when you finish, yeah?,”

“And the bar?” You asked pointing in the direction.

“I already finished my shift, now go,” He gently pushed you closer to the door.

“Knock” He said under his breath, slowly demonstrating it with his hand. You nodded. 

After knocking softly on the door, you were met with silence. You turned to face Jin once again, but before you could do that, the door was janked wide open. A short but muscly man stood right in front of you, a half shaved mustache on his face and the soulless eyes you had ever seen. 

“Yes?,” His voice sounded rusty, as if he did not wanted to speak at all.

“Hello! My name is y/n. Jin told me you are the boss?,” Silence, “So...I wanted to take up a job here, if it's possible.” 

The man gestured to you inside. Looking behind you Jin nodded at you in comfort, and you went in. The room was as basic as it could be, just one table, two chairs on each side, a cabinet filled with papers and a window, nothing more.

“Take a seat. My name is Park Sunho. Now what exactly are your expectations of this place? Do you know what we do?”

“Yes...My aunt worked here”

That seemed to strike up his interest, as he leaned his body against the table. 

“What was her name?”

“Kim Aeri”

The man nodded and stood up. His back was now turned to you, his hands searching  something frantically on the cabinet. As he turned around, you could see one sack of papers in his hold. His posture was one of an old man, even though he was no more than fifty. His hands shook slightly as he helped himself to sit down again.

“You have debt,” He said uninterestedly, reading the papers he took out.

“Yes, that's why I came,”

“Ok, I'm gonna sign you up and you will be on the market from then on. Usually I will arrange the meetings for you until you get a hang of everything, until then you are under my supervision or one of the other managers.”

You gulped, anxiously realising what is going on. He took another look at the papers, knitting his eyebrows. 

“The debt is several thousands won. I don't know how fast you are gonna be able to clear it out, it depends on how much money you can make me. You have two options”

He left the papers on the table and stared at you, leaning his body forward. 

“You can live in one of the dorms, and not pay rent, but be on constant work hours, or go and rent an apartment somewhere else, which will make you take longer to pay out the debt, due to rent and less working hours, so you tell me.”

Without a second thought you answered.

“I would like to live in one of the dorms, please.”

He seemed pleased, that seemed to be the right answer. 

“Ok, then. I'm gonna sign you up and specify your debt,” He opened a little notebook he had on the side of the desk, and started typing away, “The dorms are actually a room with a bathroom, so you will have to figure out the food thing on your own.  We also don't have many of them, so you will have to share, man, woman, boy, girl, whatever, your luck.”

Your chest tightened even more as you sank down a little on your chair. Feeling helpless as you picked on the skin surrounding your nail.

“Name again?”

“Kim y/n” 

“Right. Usually you also use the dorm to tend a client if they don't call you to meet up somewhere else. And because you are new, I will try to make sure you start working under my roof first. Okay, all set.”

He said standing up, allowing you to do so as well.

“Your dorm is 37B, shared. So good luck.”

You nodded as you headed to the door, desperate to get out and cherish Jin's comfort words, but before you could open the door, he cleared something out.

“If you once mention my work to the authorities, directly or indirectly, I will make sure your debt is tripled and you stay here the rest of your life to pay it out. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir,” You seemed to not be able to inhale any air anymore.

“Now go, Jin will show you the way to the dorm.”

As Sunho opened the door, you could feel his body even closer now. He smelled of dirt, as if he hadn't showered for days, and you were sure his breath almost smelled of the acid scent of alcohol. Jin stood there, facing the door, his stare long lost on the dirty patches on the walls. As he saw you walk out, a smile spread out on his face. 

“Show her to her dorm Jin, it's 37B,” Before anything could be said, Suhon enclosed himself in the room again.

“Let's go,” Jin said, getting himself off the wall.

Putting your backpack with all your belongings on your back once again, you started following him. Down the hallways, up the stairs you went. The first floor already smelled different, there was a mixture of food, sweat and sex. You could hear the sound of fans, the sound of skin slapping, laughs, and if you paid attention to certain doors, there were wails of sorrow.

The dorms already seemed to be set on an alternative reality. Somewhere where nothing matters, where you're from, what you feel, what is your situation. Everything is set on one thing, offering a service and getting money in return, how you do it it doesn't matter. 

Walking up one more set of stairs, on the second floor, two doors to the left, and besides the broken window, Jin stopped.

“Here we are, 37B,” He pointed to the metallic 37B on the door, “I'm actually two floors up, If you ever need anything, 53C. But you can also find me on the bar, almost every night and so. We will run into each other again, I promise.“

You puffed air out of your nose, rubbing your arms in comfort.

“Thank you Jin, really. But...do you know who I'm sharing it with?” You asked pointing to the door.

He shook his head.

“No, sorry. A lot of people come and go. I have my group, I stick to them, I trust them. I promise you will find your people.”

“How will I meet people here?”

Silence.

“Usually when you have to work with them for a client.”

“Oh..”

Jin laughed. His eyes getting smaller and his bread cheeks appearing. His hand brushed against your shoulder. 

“I told you to get used to this. Try to find me when you're assigned your first client, ok?”

Nodding, you bid him goodbye. You didn't want to let him go, finding too much comfort in his presence, mostly in this new environment. Sighting softly, you put your hand on the door handle. Pushing forward once, your body hit against the door, breathing out, you turned the handle stronger and went forward. The door opened this time. 

Inside two beds could be seen and one wardrobe. The walls were white, the paint coming off in some places, humidity tainting them.  But what caught your attention immediately was the figure sitting on the window sill. There sat a boy, not much older than you, staring directly your way. His hair was black, curls in every way, his doe eyes shined under the soft lightbulb hanging from the roof. With his mouth a little bit opened, a little bit of smoke came out, making you aware of the cigarette on his hand. A hand which was covered in tattoos, contrasting the cleaness of his other arm, lackless of ink.  

“You wanna come in?” He asked, leaving his cigarette on a hole in the wall. 

When he stood up to come closer to you, you could see something you hadn't noticed, he was only in his boxers. When he realised your stare, he chuckled timidly and scratched his neck.

“I'm sorry, I didn't expect them to assign me a roommate so soon. I just attended one of my first clients.”

For the first time you observed the unmade bed in the room. Sheets and pillows tousled everywhere, some wet stains on the mattress. When you turned back to look at him, he was blushing even harder.

“Im sorry, I will clean it right away…”

“It's ok, no need to rush. The more we talk about it, the less taboo it is, right?”

The boy seemed to relax a little.

“Right. My name is jungkook, yours?”

“y/n”

He smiled.

“Well let me organize all of this, and you can get comfortable, put your things away and we can get started”

That seemed to startle you.

“Start what?” You softly asked.

“Your training period”

This new life was gonna be harder than you thought. 

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Hi everyone! I hope you can enjoy this fic. Please like, roblog, comment, It means the world to me. Thank you so much for reading!🥰